Why have I felt for these past few months like I’ve been asleep?

I recently had dinner with one of my dearest friends from college, The Leo.  The two of us hadn’t seen each other in far too long.  I have been busy with work and being in love and she has been swamped under owning her own business and being impeccably fabulous.  It was so lovely to dig into each other’s lives and do the catch-up dance, especially with someone who truly knows me and vice versa, insecurities and all.  The conversation ended up being quite a bit about me and my confusion around certain areas of my life.  It’s certainly nothing that a good friend and two glasses of wine can’t help.  As we spoke, I found myself building to this crescendo of a statement.  I said, “I just miss the guy that I used to be.  The guy who had confidence and forced people to listen to him.  Who felt like he had something to say and wasn’t afraid to tell everyone.”  Essentially, I felt like I had lost that version of myself I knew in college who had vision and insight to share.  Where was he now?

Well, the Leo picked at her kale salad for a moment and then sipped from her glass of red before making a face.  “But you still are that guy, Angel.  He is still inside of you.”  And I tried arguing a bit that yes she’s right, he is, but not in the same way, etc.  But then, as I really allowed myself to stop and ponder what she was saying, I couldn’t argue.  And even now, as I type this story out and reflect on myself and the days that I live, I see that she is right.  In fact, this blog is a good example of that guy.  Sure, I’m not staging plays in the middle of a college campus anymore, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have opportunities in my life to utilize my powerful voice and share the wisdom I have been given.  So why have I felt for these past few months like I’ve been asleep?  Like the true essence of me has been on some rock in Sedona meditating while my body and mind have been sleepwalking through the motions of my existence?  Well, I have an idea.  And this weekend’s Cancer new moon is the perfect time to address it.

That sense of being lost is just a construct of the mind.

See, another friend of mine, the powerful mystic Pisces/Aries cusp, emailed me on last week’s post where I said that I had lost my way.  She said that she also felt like she had lost her way, but then concluded how, “I’m realizing that there’s no losing anything…it’s just going off the path a bit to play in the fields, and all of it is a part of the journey.”  She’s so incredibly right.  You can feel lost or as if you’ve abandoned a core part of yourself, but ultimately you must remember that wherever you are, whether on “the path” or at play in the fields, you are at home.  That sense of being lost is just a construct of the mind.  (Unless of course you’re actually lost in the woods or in the jungle but even then, perhaps it’s meant for something.)  Our surroundings or our environment may look and be different than is comfortable or was anticipated, but regardless of any intense circumstances being faced, the core of our being is always still present and intact.

So let’s all look at this new moon as a time to come home to a part of ourselves or our lives that we have been neglecting or allowing to sit dormant and unspoken in the back seat for far too long.  There’s a piece of us or a place in our lives that may feel like it’s been left for better or richer pastures.  And perhaps we have strayed.  But ultimately it was to gain the necessary tools of mentality so that we could come home from battle and honor the inherent gifts we have taken for granted or have been afraid to fully utilize.  Cancer is the doorway to that home.  It’s the walls, the hardwood floors, and the soft, furry blanket of comfort we all need to feel at peace within ourselves.

We should all take comfort in the strength of our own vastness. 

See, in a broad astrological sense, Cancer is all about structure and foundation and is concerned with our home and family life, but it also wants us to find a sense of personal safety in the various areas of our lives.  If we can take on Cancer’s call to be grounded in the truth of who we are, we can then see our relationships with family, work, creativity, and love from a more honest and clear perspective.  Like the sea, which Cancer governs, we are constantly surrounded by ever-shifting tides, yet we should all take comfort in the strength of our own vastness.  And know that deep down, we all have base aspects of our being that time, words, or feelings cannot erase.

So what area in your life is this new moon rising in?  Let’s dive into each sign and then I’ll follow-up with a little conclusion for everyone.  Here we go:

ARIES

Take this weekend as a bit of a reboot.

This new moon finds you in need of some family and comfort.  Whether it’s the family you were born into or the one you have since created for yourself, you need to be surrounded by those who offer you a soothing space and allow for the greatest and most at ease version of you to shine forth.  In the past few months, so much has been trying to happen in the different areas of your life that it’s been almost impossible to keep it all together, and it’s been particularly hard to honor the various aspects of your personality that need to come into play.  So, take this weekend as a bit of a reboot.  Ground down into that basic self – the one that only you and the mirror truly know – and take him or her out into the world.  Try not to get caught up in any of your usual worries either.  This is a time to wish those anxieties farewell with the goal of getting back to what truly brings value to the future of your life.

TAURUS

Get beyond the clutter of your mind.

It’s time to look at the relationship you have with your voice.  And by that, I mean the one with both your internal thoughts and the words that make it out into the world.  Are you being completely responsible for what you think and say?  As Gandhi once said, “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.”  So make sure that you take this new moon time to really get beyond the clutter of your mind.  You have the power to manifest all of your thinking, but along with the hopes and dreams can also come the doubts, insecurities, and frustrations.  So banish fear.  You only have time this weekend to have a solely positive attitude about the goals you have on your mind right now.  With the right mindset, you also have the power to create a whole new direction for your life.  And the planets are completely aligned for you to achieve if you focus your mind on self belief.

GEMINI

How do you measure your own personal sense of value?

This is an opportunity to come home to your self-worth.  How do you measure your own personal sense of value?  Sure, you’re a mental beast usually ruled by communication, so at times you may only feel as good as your last great idea or best compliment.  But you can’t rest anymore on your usual avenues when it comes to feeling worthy.   Take some time to let go of any imposing familial or societal standards that may weigh you down.  You don’t need the perfect job, body, or house to be good enough.  Instead, focus on the things you excel at.  It’s those areas where you may not be giving yourself enough credit.  If you’re feeling up against a wall, it may be because you feel the scrutiny of others, some of which may not even really exist.  And perhaps some of the restrictions in your life are actually being caused by some subconscious ideas you have about what you do and do not deserve.

CANCER

Cherish the community you have created for yourself.

This is the time of year where you are most in your element and get to rejuvenate completely, so you should take full advantage of it.  The best way to do that is to bring some sunlight into your home.  I don’t exactly mean for you to pull the shades up and open the doors.  It might be too hot for that.  But you should spend the weekend with those who brighten up your life and truly mean the most to you.  You are incredibly sensitive to the energy around you, so replenish your living space by soaking in the love of those who are closest to you.  It’s important that you really cherish the community you have created for yourself.  Invite some people over and decorate your space with their positive vibes.  In fact, be literal with that.  Do you have some home improvements to do around your house?  Get your besties together, crack a bottle of wine open, and focus on the goodness that is available to you at all times.

LEO

You need to find some time to be with you.

Lately, you have been consumed with your work and the image it provides you, but this new moon wants you to pause for some internal inventory.  It’s time for you to spend some quality time alone.  No, time alone with your work doesn’t count.  I am talking complete time away from all those things you pursue that may someday attain you mass adoration.  How long has it been since you’ve taken yourself out on a date?  Given yourself a complete spa day?  And no, it doesn’t count if your significant other, parent, sibling, or best friend is in the massage room next to you.  You need to find some time to be with you.  What can you do for yourself to be inspired for this new chapter in your life?  Spend a day at a theater movie-hopping?  A day at the park reading and doing yoga?  Perhaps a drive out of town for a meal and some window shopping.  Again, the key is to do this on your own.  Then, you’ll be ready to create the next thing to be completely adored for.

VIRGO

Try breaking up that consistent schedule.

You have been so inspired to attain knowledge about yourself and your life, but there is only so much you can do in the ten-block radius of your current life.  It’s time to take this new chapter a bit more into the streets.  Take this lunar opportunity to get out beyond your usual circle of friends and activities.  With time, it becomes somewhat easy to expand your horizons from within the confines of your daily routine.  You read a new book.  You have an inspiring conversation with that friend or neighbor you love.  But how exposed are you allowing yourself to be to ideas and interests that you may not even know exist.  You are eager to learn something new about yourself, but try breaking up that consistent schedule.  How about going on a field trip?  Go to a different part of town than usual.  Make plans with a friend you never see.  You’re so excited for new stimuli so go and find it where you wouldn’t normally allow yourself to look.

LIBRA

Take the ‘stale’ out of what you’re doing right now.

This new moon wants you to really consider a shift in your work.  It may not be a new career altogether, though maybe it is.  It actually could just be that it’s time to figure out how to take the ‘stale’ out of what you’re doing right now.  You have been working through so much internal growth these last few months that it’s really time to take stock and make sure that your external is truly a reflection of the current you.  Perhaps you already feel like you’ve taken some steps toward building a career that feels more aligned with your current passions.  But it could be worth investigating where your perception may have cracks.  It may be that you’re allowing yourself to ignore some key aspects of your work life that are ultimately keeping your progress at bay.  Do whatever it takes to honor the new foundation you have built for yourself.  You may have to let go of some structures you worked so hard at building in the first place, but with some honest perspective, you’ll realize just how past their expiration date you’ve gone.

SCORPIO

Expand beyond your usual approach to people.

You have worked hard at cultivating a better approach to relationships – both old and new.  There is certainly a greater sense of who is in your life and how large a role you should allow them to play.  So now that you have a bit more confidence and trust around the current people in your life, it’s time to explore meeting some new ones.  To do that, you may need to find some new ways to actually meet people.  Gone are the days where you went bar-hopping with the guys or took that class in hope of meeting Mr. Right.  Take some lessons but in how to talk to strangers.  And learn from your more trusted friends who seem to excel at it.  You are certainly a more confident breed than most, but sometimes that comes across as cold or intimidating.  So try and expand beyond your usual approach to people.  You’re coming upon a time of greater personal growth and dimension, and some of these new acquaintances you do the work to bring into your life will help usher in this upcoming, exciting transformation.

SAGITTARIUS

No one said this would be easy or painless.

This new moon wants you to start thinking about a real, honest, down to the bone personal transformation.  Perhaps you feel like you’ve been doing some deep internal work, but this has really only been the prep mode.  And it’s also been a necessary part of the greater healing that is going on for you and your life.  But it’s time to get to business.  In order to truly heal, you need to shift some of the ways you have been thinking about yourself and your life.  How to do that?  Well, the best way would be to get back to some of the ways of thinking you may have abandoned.  Are you living up to your truest personal ideals?  If you have some old journals or lists of things you want to accomplish, now would be the time to dig them up.  Get back in touch with what you have always wanted for your life and then take stock to see if the life you’re living now is really the path to that.  Otherwise, you need to cut cords to some of the things that are holding you back.  No one said this would be easy or painless.  But if you want to finally get on track for the life you’ve always dreamed of, it’s now or never.

CAPRICORN

The key is in your relationships.

Cap, you are feeling the strain of your opposing sign’s new moon.  It’s certainly asking a lot of you.  More than anything, it wants you to be more creative about how you live your life these days.  Thankfully, there is a hidden door leading toward an answer for you.  The key is in your relationships.  Take a look at the people who currently matter the most to you right now.  The fact that you have such a strong emotional connection to them means their opinion also matters to you, so it’s time to see yourself the way that they see you.  This shifted perception will actually be a way to recognize how to best move forward in a positive direction for your life.  So listen to what these people have to say to you.  Their advice should be cherished with the passion of a family heirloom.  And pay attention to the way they make you feel.  It’s the same feeling you should have when you look in the mirror each morning.  Remember that you don’t have to go it alone, Cap.  So don’t.  You need people and sometimes that’s okay.

AQUARIUS

Be the master of your present moment.

This time should be all about creating a new healthy routine for yourself.  You may already be a massive health nut who does yoga fifteen times a week, but, let’s face it.  That’s probably not the case.  Sure, in your mind, you are the healthiest person around and the healthiest that you’ve ever been.  But just because you haven’t eaten that guilty pleasure today doesn’t mean it’s not going to appear by your bedside tomorrow.  So what is the key to breaking that mold and shifting things in a more permanent way?  Well, get more deeply in touch with the fact that you are craving stability for yourself and not Doritos.  Life just feels wobbly and uncertain.  So be the master of your present moment.  Keep a keen eye on what is essential to your well-being.  If you need help, remember the time when you were the most happy.  What was your routine like then?  Find ways to bring some of that back and guarantee that true health will find its way back into your daily, now more stable life.

PISCES

Inspiration is desperate to find you.

It’s time for you to create!  Through all of your crazy antics, you are gaining a ton of insight into the type of life you want.  So this new moon wants you to slow down and work at manifesting it.  In fact, it’s time that you cocooned a bit.  Find a space that can be your sacred space.  It’s almost like this time in your life necessitates a fort.  Remember when you could build those out of blankets, chairs, and pillows?  Well you need the adult version of that to fully get your creativity, cozy, and personal process on.  Elaborate on what you want right now in childlike ways.  Paint.  Put out the coloring book and color.  Write some songs.  Bad poems.  Anything that gets you in touch with that frustrated teen that was desperate to go beyond the walls of your bedroom.  Inspiration is desperate to find you.  But you have to welcome it back with some form of intimate ceremony.  Or else it just won’t feel as real as you need life to be right now.

I ask you to embrace the unknown.

So, today found me a bit obsessed with a song by the legendary and incomparable Rupaul.  It’s called The Beginning, and it’s all about starting over.

And it’s something that we all have to do time and again.  Whether 24, 36, 47, or 61, we can find ourselves in a place where we feel like what we’ve been doing is wrong.  But that’s not the truth.  In fact, I believe that if we’re questioning a belief or aspect about our lives, it means that we’re still growing.  Otherwise, what are we doing here but being complacent?  So, dear reader, I ask you to embrace the unknown.  Pick that fear up like a lost child and give it a deep, long hug.  Because it is only through that love, that we can find our new tomorrow.  As Ru also says , “This is the beginning of the rest of your life.”  Now you know she is singing that shit to herself.  And she ain’t exactly 16 anymore.

Happy New Moon in Cancer!