That Gemini New Moon When You Got Real With Yourself

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We have to get down to releasing our self-made soap operas so that we can focus on the lives we want to be living for ourselves

I recently got over a conflict I was having with a friend, except the friend wasn’t entirely aware that there was even a conflict at all. Yes, that reveals me to be somewhat of a passive-aggressive headcase. I can admit to that. But there was also real hurt and sadness there, and I had constructed all kinds of reasons why I shouldn’t directly confront the problem. Some of it I even construed as being considerate on my part. But of course, it was all just fear-based. And in hindsight, I think some of the drama I was creating in my head, and in my relationship, was just stifled creativity withheld by resistance.

In his masterful book, THE WAR OF ART, Steven Pressfield writes, “Creating soap opera in our lives is a form of resistance.” And resistance is what keeps us from living “the unlived life within us.” We can so easily get caught up in what he’s doing or what she said or how so-and-so and so-and-so did such-and-such together and they must not care about me, but in the end, it’s almost always just some bullshit that doesn’t need to affect us. As Pressfield suggests, we have to get down to releasing our self-made soap operas so that we can focus on the lives we want to be living for ourselves.

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This Gemini new moon wants you to get real with both the person you are inside and the person you’re expressing out into the world

The Gemini New Moon is all about unifying the conversations that our heart selves and our personality selves are having, so that we can clear a path for a more authentic expression of being. Sometimes we just feel some kind of way about something, but we don’t express it. We internalize it, like I did with my friend, causing a split in our life continuum. We resist the urge to speak our truth, thus leaving ourselves to suffer in silence. And it’s usually for no good reason. So this Gemini new moon wants you to get real with both the person you are inside and the person you’re expressing out into the world. Can you see if there’s any disconnect there? Are you suppressing a part or parts of yourself in some area of your life just to keep the peace? Is there a hole in your heart that you’ve been resisting to fill?

Remember, this is the launch of a new month-long cycle. So let’s take a closer look at each sign and how to work with it.

Continue reading “That Gemini New Moon When You Got Real With Yourself”

That Cancer Full Moon When You Were in All Your Glory

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It’s time to feel. All of it.

The Cancer full moon is always my favorite. Full disclosure, my own moon is in Cancer so it always feels like I’m dialing in on some profound emotional experience or revelation on these days. Thank God I scheduled therapy for today. But I also love it because Cancer rules the moon, so it also marks her yearly moment to allow us all a collective emotional exhale. We may all be feeling a little emotionally constipated right now, stopped up from all the feelings we’ve had to confront and absorb over these last six months. Hell, these last two months have been enough of a roller coaster to last me a lifetime. But consider that whatever emotional process we initiated in July is now coming to a head and it wants to explode or release. Now it’s not entirely in the, “I need to scream at someone and have a breakdown” kind of way though it could be. I would just say that if we’ve been looking within and trying to cultivate some stronger relationship with ourselves around an area of our lives, now is the perfect time to move it all out of the head and into our hearts. It’s time to feel. All of it.

We should use this moment as an opportunity to love ourselves wholly. We must drop the bullshit mental games we play with ourselves and fall madly in love with the life we want to build. It’s not okay anymore to make excuses nor succumb to our own internal negative speak. Now this is all easier said than done. I know that I can meditate all day long and then come out of it to an immediate self-criticism. And that quick switch from “love and light” to “girl, your eyes look tired” is rough because then it makes the meditation feel like a failure. But it’s not. It’s just human. However, the goal is to minimize the feeling we take from the critical voice. Because THAT IS ALL IT IS. It’s not a real voice. It’s a voice conjured by past insecurities that we tell ourselves is the voice of reality. But the voice of reality is actually all around you. The voice of reality is simply the present moment.

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The time has come for you to believe in the future self that you deep down know exists in the space laid out for you

The goal is to navigate the pitfalls of the inner voices so that we come out of our days feeling gratitude and self-love. We cannot attach to the inner saboteur anymore. (By the way, if you don’t have this voice then you’ve succeeded at life and can just stop reading now.) When we do attach to that voice, we put a roadblock up in front of our abundance. We cannot see the opportunities coming our way. We cannot trust the voice of inspiration because we think it is the same voice of self-doubt. But these two do not come from the same place. Inspiration is fleeting while self-doubt will stick around. Inspiration comes in like a whisper from a dream while self-doubt nags like a roommate we can’t get rid of. Well, right now, inspiration, luck, abundance, and insight are available to us. We just have to feel with our whole mind, body, and soul that we deserve it to access it.

You deserve goodness. Can you truly believe that for yourself? I need you to feel that with your whole heart. Look in the mirror and tell that scared, loving being that is you, “I deserve goodness.” Do that for me. Do that for yourself. The time has come for a profound shift in your being, both emotional and spiritual. The time has come for you to believe in the future self that you deep down know exists in the space laid out for you. The time has come to get it together. Have faith that the goals and aspirations that you FEEL are true and can manifest if you can LOVE yourself like you never have before. Drop the shitty habits. Drop the shitty friends. Drop the shitty things you tell yourself over and over without even realizing you’re doing it. You have love in the world. And that full moon in Cancer is here, to illuminate it for you in all its glory. Be you in all your glory.

That Mercury Retrograde When You Decided Not to Be a Hot Mess

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A Mercury retrograde time can bring chaos into one’s life, but it’s ultimately here to show you a different path to action

Today marks the start of another Mercury Retrograde period (until January 8th). Go ahead. Cheer now! What this means is that for the few next weeks, your greatest hot mess of a friend (and I’ve totally been him before) will be blaming it for every tardy meeting, every missed text, and every unreturned phone call. Sure, that technologically challenged shit will go down, especially for my Scorpio friends, but we can’t let what Mercury in retrograde traditionally represents rule all of our communication misgivings. In fact, we must take this time to hold up, slow our rolls, and take stock of the bigger picture we currently have for our lives. We must get real about whether everything we are doing is helping to manifest our greatest future goals.

Mercury is going retrograde in the sign of Capricorn, which is very concerned with the big picture for our lives and all the hard work that goes into achieving it. We all know that nothing is handed to us. Even for the overnight success, years were spent toiling away in the workshop, at a desk, in the studio, or at school. So when Mercury, the planet engaged in all things communication, halts itself for the retrograde, room should be made for a re-evaluation of one’s goals and what is being done to manifest them.

We should first narrow in on the specific area in life that keeps you up at night: career, a relationship, a health goal, or one’s view on spirituality. Then, if you’re hitting a wall of any kind, stop trying to PUSH forward and reconsider the path. Are you actually doing everything you could be doing to move ahead/break through or just going through some motions? Do you need to let go of something (a person, place, thing, or mentality) in a more profound way so that you can truly activate your next personal phase? The great thing is, you can stop looking around and blaming “xyz” for your problems. With some inward evaluation, you will see what is potentially keeping your goals at bay.

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Without a doubt, these next six weeks can be extremely transformative for all of us. With Pluto, the planet in charge of deep soul shifts, touching on this current Mercury phase, know that you’ll have a more focused understanding of your current intentions and goals by the end of January. But you have to be in the process of figuring your shit out. You can’t just get caught up in the day to day. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get a break in. In fact, you need one. I need one. I’ll be on a beach soon with a book in one hand and a cocktail in another. Yes, the start of this six-week process must include some legit down time. In numerology terms, we are at the end of a ‘9’ year, thus the ending of a major cycle. It’s a back to 1 moment. And with any conclusion to a great life period, we should get in a good ass nap. That’s part of the process too. But then, once revived, you must make time for a rethinking and reworking of those pieces in life that just aren’t taking shape.

It’s important to know that your problems aren’t all in your head and you aren’t the entire reason that you can’t see or think straight. The world is really fucked up right now. Cities are being ravaged without thought for humanity. Women’s rights are coming under fire in various U.S. states. LGBT individuals are continuing to feel like secondary humans to the rest of society. Governments are recalibrating to assert more power in the war for who has the biggest cock. And there is so much else with race and the environment and civil unrest and on and on. It’s disheartening and disillusioning and some of us are struggling to make sense of it – to find our footing.

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Take these next few weeks to better understand where in this world you want to make a difference

One only needs to look to these current times to see the lesson in this Mercury retrograde phase. Pause and reflect on the ways that you can be more of a citizen for the world you believe in. You must figure out how to take your personal unease and alchemize it into something of use. Perhaps you are already in that process. But don’t feel a complete loss if you’re feeling powerless. You’ve only just begun to understand your power and your community is just figuring out how to come together. So time will allow you to gather your resources and rally your ideas into fruition. Take these next few weeks to better understand where in the world you want to make a difference and how. A large part of that answer  will be found by getting a greater understanding of yourself.

A Mercury retrograde time can bring chaos into one’s life, but it’s ultimately here to show you a different path to action. Are you going to get swirled up into life’s drama or will you choose this time to react differently? Can you keep on playing the victim to external circumstances or take pause to consider healthy ways to be a worthy agent of change? Will you allow yourself a clear mind or one filled with to-do lists and regrets and worries? If that email won’t send or your phone won’t make outgoing calls, will you build yourself up into a frustrated mess or just put the damn thing down and try to enjoy a phone-free afternoon of relaxation and contemplation? Right now, I say go for the latter on all counts. Your life will ultimately be more in tune, you’ll feel more purposeful, and you won’t be someone else’s hot mess of a friend when the next retrograde rolls around in the Spring.

That Gemini Full Moon When You Got Out of Your Head And Into Your Life

 

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You are the Sun to your life, the greatest life-giving star to everything that creates your own personal Universe

I’ve recently come to the realization that I tend to put myself last, meaning that what I want always gets put behind what I believe other people want of me. I have trained myself to say, “Well let me handle what that other person needs from me since my thing can wait.” What that kind of thinking has fostered is a lifetime of waiting for myself to show up, well, for myself. I’ve constantly shown up for others out of fear of them hating me or being angry at me or not liking me. It’s all the business that comes along with wanting to be loved and accepted. But now, I’ve burst through to a place where I can see that I need to be the center of my world, and everyone else and their needs can orbit around me. Now this isn’t to say that I haven’t been selfish in the past. I have made choices where I had to put myself first. But in hindsight, those choices were made from a place of survival and not self-love. I wasn’t ever really running toward anything but more so running away. And this placed all of my dreams in a pile, one I would be back later to clean up. Thankfully, later is now. Better now than never.

The Gemini Full Moon time creates the space for us all to bring our inner hopes, needs, and questions to the surface so that we can take action on them. We have the opportunity to face whatever internal dialogue of self-doubt versus self-worth it is that we contend with and move through it. We can elevate ourselves from a one-dimensional to a multi-dimensional view of ourselves. We should take this time to grab those dreams, those visionary ideas for our lives that we haven’t given enough validity to and push them into some form of existence. This may be a necessary shift in a relationship or family, or perhaps a conversation that needs to happen around career. Maybe there’s a project that needs to begin or a new field of study that needs attention paid to. Whatever it is that you know in your heart and mind is the thing that will help you connect to your loved self, take some action toward it now.

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You must take stock of your life and see where your own inner conversation has led you. How are you keeping yourself small? Who have you been waiting for to give you permission that you can be who you want to be? You must move into a state of self-being and self-worth where you can feel enabled to accomplish the goals that you believe you could achieve once upon a dream. You have that opportunity. You just need to take responsibility for your growth and accept the abundance that is available to you. Sure, it may look like a terrible road to cross full of challenge and upheaval. But no great race was ever rewarded for not leaving the starting gate.

The key right now is to NOT go it alone. It’s so easy to stay inside the bubble of yourself and toil through your troubles there. You don’t want to seem weak to others. You don’t want friends to think you’re crazy or unhappy. You don’t want anyone to know you feel alone. But making yourself vulnerable to others is the fastest way to understand that you are not alone. And this Gemini Full Moon time wants you to connect with someone other than the critical voice in your head. Jupiter in Libra and Mars in Aquarius are around too, urging you to reach out and give yourself over to others, insecurities and all. Make yourself available to others. Ask for their insight. Gather advice on an issue. Allow their encouragement to enter into your being, to remind you that you are the Sun to your life, the greatest life-giving star to everything that creates your own personal Universe. So you deserve to do all that you feel encouraged and called to do. Yes, this process will make you feel like you have some growing up to do. But you do. We all do, no matter our age or experience. That is called living. So get to it. I’m here for you.

That Aries Full Moon When You Had an Emotional Rebellion

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I have always loved astrology.

Ever since my mom introduced me to the horoscopes at the back of the Los Angeles Daily News. But in 1999, on a whim, I took a job at a metaphysical bookshop. On my first day there, the store manager Angelique, a sweet witchy diva, told me that I wouldn’t be behind the counter forever. “You’ll be working here as an astrologer someday.” Yeah, okay lady, I thought to myself. Cut to months later, it’s my 23rd birthday and I’m reluctantly getting a past life reading with a beautiful Brit named Michelle. She was the type of reader who would book up months in advance but she’d had a rare, last minute cancellation and the time had gone to me. Barely minutes into the reading, she had hooked me with extremely personal insights that no one could have just guessed on. Toward the end of the reading, she asked me about my relationship with astrology. I thought back on Angelique’s words. “I like to read my horoscope.” She laughed and said that I should study it. “You’ve been an astrologer many times over. It will come back to you in no time.” I shrugged at the information but figured why not. I quickly dug into my study of the planets and their ancient divination system. Six months later, I was out from behind the counter and working as a full time astrologer. It has been with me since.

Owning my place as an astrologer took a lot of time and courage. It was challenging enough coming out to people as gay, but coming out as an astrologer presented a whole new level of awkward. Sometimes it was easy. People would find it unique or interesting. Of course, they usually wanted to know what I could tell them about them. But there were also times of being joked about or dismissed. So much so, that I abandoned the work for a short time. With time and friendly encouragement, I have come to realize that it has always been a part of me, and that won’t ever change. I certainly don’t claim to know how astrology entirely works, but I do know that it works for me and offers me extremely meaningful connections with the people I have the pleasure of working with on their charts. I also know that if I chose not to own this piece of myself, I would be denying a huge part of me that wants to blossom, whether just based from this lifetime or countless other life times before.

I am an astrologer, and I love it.

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The Full Moon in Aries wants us to fully embrace the pieces of ourselves that we may not entirely understand but that make us wholly unique

Aries is all about new beginnings. It’s the first sign of the zodiac. Therefore, it can be a little naïve and blind to reality. But that also means that it isn’t tainted by others’ perceptions of reality. Aries feels free to boldly create the reality it envisions. It can charge forth sometimes without care for others around, but it also hopes to inspire others to follow in its path. Aries has a strong leadership quality, as people are attracted to its tenacity and confidence, but it wants to lead people to their own personal rebellion. With Uranus, the planet of inspiration and uniqueness, joining the moon at this full moon time, it amplifies that Aries boldness. It isn’t the time for your outer personality and inner emotional self to war against each other. The two must embrace and integrate. Your sun (soul) and moon (heart) must dance together during this time, meaning you can’t be one person out in the world and another when alone at home. This separation of you will no longer fly.

This is emotional rebellion time. It’s time to feel your passions, goals, and desires as if for the first time. Fall in love all over again. Push yourself to take risks with how you feel. Commit to each moment in your life with your whole heart. Stop filtering yourself for fear of judgment. Fuck the haters. The haters are just a reflection of your own insecurities. And hell, sometimes the greatest hater to your life is you. So you gotta stop that shit. Use this full moon time to get real deep with yourself and communicate about what is really meaningful to you. Ask yourself, “What do I want to define me and my life moving forward?” Wonder what life could be like if no one was watching. No one was judging or scolding or side-eyeing. Just you, no holds barred. No self-imposed limitations on who you could be, who you could love, what you could accomplish. Now how can you bring that forth into your real world life?

Here are some brief offerings of help, per sign: Continue reading “That Aries Full Moon When You Had an Emotional Rebellion”

That Sagittarius Full Moon II, 2016

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Our greatest goal is to get in touch with the core of ourselves

Over the weekend, I was at a party and the conversation turned to the full moon, which then led it to turn to me. “So what does it mean, Angel?” Please note that I had probably had a few drinks at this point, but I’m always game to get into some astrology talk. “Well, it’s the second one in Sagittarius, which makes it even more meaningful. It’s all about truth. Deal with your truth or get the fuck off the pot.” Everyone laughed but then someone chimed in, “Isn’t that what they’re always about? Get in touch with your truth?” Someone else exclaimed in agreement. “Yeah, it’s always the same thing.” At the time, I belted out some response about how it’s always about truth because that’s what most people need to hear. Most are not in touch with their truth, which makes life harder for the rest of us. I don’t know if I made much sense at the time, and I agree that it can feel like every spiritual message is about getting in touch with your true self. But that’s for a reason. It’s because it’s true. Our greatest goal is to get in touch with the core of ourselves, and every day offers an opportunity to connect to that personal, inherent truth so that we can actualize our most valuable self.

Sagittarius is the truth seeker, so to have two full moons in that sign means that the universal energy is urging us to release our greatest truths out into the world. That can come in the form of an important relationship conversation, a creative project, or a deep internal realization that we must come to terms with inside our heart, mind, or spirit. Whatever it is isn’t easy. A lot in our lives may feel at odds with each other right now. Our home life may be sparring in some way with our work life. Or our internal self may want to do one thing that our external life isn’t assisting us in achieving. It may just be that the version of us that our past created is trying to give way to a version of us that we want to be now, but for some reason, we are unable to let go of whatever thought pattern, habit, relationship, job, or what have you that is holding us back. The genesis of our struggle isn’t always easy to connect to, but once we dig into the closet that houses all of our crap, we can uncover it and make way to free ourselves to be entirely who we want to be.

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The Sagittarius moon wants us to know that the more in touch we are with our truth, the clearer our path will be before us

So yes, I know a lot of this can sound broad and leave you wondering what the hell do I do about all this. But if you really take the time to understand yourself and your inner workings, you can make these general ideas concrete. And you will realize that it’s just not worth wasting time in this life. We really do allow ourselves to be clouded by the shit of our past, whether we know it or not. That is the human way. Our conditioning can keep us paralyzed from moving forward. The Sagittarius moon wants us to know that the more in touch we are with our truth, the clearer our path will be before us.

Here are some closer looks at the signs and how this full moon is affecting them:

Continue reading “That Sagittarius Full Moon II, 2016”

That Full Moon When You Got Real Clear

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We must be willing to dig into the truth of why we’re feeling so confused

Things just aren’t that clear right now. That’s what happens when Saturn, the planet of restriction and responsibility comes in close contact with Mercury, the ruler of the mind. Personally, I’ve been toiling over some decisions and driving myself to slightly epic points of insanity. Given that this is all occurring in Sagittarius means that it’s all trying to drive me toward a truth of some kind, but with Gemini in the mix, it’s hard to get quiet enough to clear the air. Whenever I sit with a client, I tend to always tell him or her that meditation is key to one’s success. And I always do my best to walk that talk and meditate daily. But even my recent meditations have been overrun with lists of things to do and questions about what’s right or wrong.

Today marks a Gemini full moon, which means it’s possible to connect to our minds in a way that helps us to release some answers to the questions on our thoughts. But we must be willing to dig into the truth of why we’re feeling so confused. Are we letting some fear or insecurity creep into the decision making process, clouding our best judgment and intuition? Or perhaps we’ve assigned some person in our life too much power over how we think or feel, causing our heart’s compass a lack of clarity. Whatever the case, we need to be willing to come to blows with our truest selves and face reality. We know what’s messing up. There just needs to be a willingness to accept what is a possibly a mistake we’ve made.

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This specific full moon time can feel challenging, but it can also be liberating

So how to know the truth? Well first off, trust your gut. You know your fears by now. You know what they sound like and you know what they respond to. If you’re not sure, then let me help. Your fears are usually excited by some need to be accepted by others. They can be enticed by the idea of being “left out” or considered a failure. They thrive on intimacy, and vulnerability. They don’t want you to succeed. Instead, they want you to stay put because it’s safe and free of change. So if you can’t get clear enough to make a strong decision, then take the time to dissect what is going on in your life and ask yourself if you’re being shrouded by some fear-based idea. Get calm and ask yourself what truly feels right and what feels wrong. You will know what makes sense for you. And let everyone else dictate their own lives, not yours.

It’s important to feel your thoughts and think about your feelings in a responsible way. Yes, these are two different things. Feel what you’re saying so that you know that you’re not saying something that can hurt another. If you’re thoughts are causing you pain and you can’t release them in a healthy way, they will only transform into hurtful words toward another. And this is never good, especially during the holidays when family is involved. Also, think about your feelings from an adult point of view. Are you overreacting? Are you being childish? Now is not the time to just react. Make sure your feelings about something or someone aren’t connected to some outdated pain or uncertainty. You may be bummed but it could just be about something that bears no resemblance to your actual reality. It’s just an old thinking pattern that feels ready to be released. So use this full moon time to release it in some constructive way, i.e. writing a letter you don’t need to send, some creative endeavor, or by simply beating a pillow for ten seconds. Um yeah, I do it. And it works.

You Deserve All Good Things... it's true!

This specific full moon time can feel challenging, but it can also be liberating. It can be a time to release your old, “young” ways of thinking that don’t serve you anymore. You need to take responsibility for your thoughts and your feelings. No one is making you feel the way you do. You are simply choosing to respond. And you need to get a grip on how you do so. You deserve to feel good about your choices. You deserve to be confident. You have it within you. So have gratitude for your ability to change and grow, and have a fantastic Thanksgiving.