That Capricorn Full Moon When You Can’t Avoid The Change At Hand

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I recently had a dream where I was bitten by a bat. My hubby, the Aquarius, and I were sleeping and I noticed this little bat with bright red eyes perched in the corner of the room. He looked evil, intense, and I was sorta terrified. I knew I had to get it out of the house. But when I went to try and usher it out, it flew right at me and bit my hand. I could feel the pain of its bite, and there were two pinpricks of blood. It then landed on a wall nearby and just continued to stare at me, with those bright red eyes. I asked it, “Why did you do that?” It just glared. I woke up from the dream, and curiously still felt the numbness of its bite on my hand.

I thought about how the bat is a symbol of change and rebirth for me. It has shown up in various animal card readings, and it has appeared as a spirit animal when I have done some shamanic journeying work. So I figured its return had something to do with me needing to shift and evolve. Maybe I needed to do a new shamanic journey and reach out to it. However, I didn’t.

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Weeks later, I was hiking with a good friend and fellow Aries, who’s also a fantastic reservoir of spiritual connection for me. We had been talking about all things life and love, and I brought up the bat dream to her. “I’m thinking maybe it was about me really needing to focus on making some changes in myself. And that I need to take another shamanic journey.” Just then, my friend’s mouth dropped and her eyes told me to turn around. I did and saw a jeep with a large bat symbol on its hood. I mean, literally covering half of the hood. I turned back to my friend, who still had the same look on her face. We laughed. “I guess I do need to do those things, huh?”

Later that week, I went to my hubby’s shamanic journey circle and had a wonderful meet up with my bat guide. He told me that I needed to change, and then he killed me, which I guess is pretty common in these types of meditative experiences (if you haven’t journeyed, definitely check it out!) That death was symbolic of the transition I’m currently in, from the outdated version of me into a new, more focused me. And I believe it was setting me up for this current astrological landscape.

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Today marks the Capricorn Full Moon, and it’s a doozy. It’s going to be conjunct Pluto, which means both the moon and Pluto will be in the sign of Capricorn, conjoining and amplifying each other’s energies. And together, they will oppose the Sun and Mars, who are conjunct in Cancer. So what the hell does all that mean?

Basically, it’s time to see how bat, or your own inner guide, has been trying to speak to you and nurture you toward some kind of personal shift. Full moons are all about release, so there is some area in your life that is ready for a purging. And with that connection to Pluto, it’s in a big way. This is some “My soul needs this right now” business. And your heart needs it. You’ve either been in the throes of learning how to love yourself better or have been avoiding that process altogether. Either way, it is time to commit to loving you and paying attention to what you need. Your life is offering you signs to help mark the path, but are you paying attention?

Gone are the days of just standing back and waiting for permission to move forward or for someone to come along and hand the answer to you.

You are the answer.

The Mars/Sun component is also lending you a sense of urgency, like “I need to figure this out now.” And well, you do. Gone are the days of just standing back and waiting for permission to move forward or for someone to come along and hand the answer to you. You are the answer. Spirit is here to help in the form of meditations, dreams, and omens. So if you’ve ever dabbled in having a connection to spirit, now’s the time to commit, in whatever way works for you. Take you and the things that interest you much more seriously. No one else is going to do so until you do the same. And you deserve to feel purposeful with your life.

Jupiter is also finally moving forward, bringing some movement to areas of our lives that may have felt a little slow to get going. But don’t worry if things aren’t manifesting right away, even when you’re focusing your energy toward the things you’re supposed to be doing. As Lana Del Rey sings, “It’s enough just to make you go crazy.” And it is, but try to be like a Lana song and take it slow. Trust that the momentum is building because you are working toward building the thing that feels authentic to you.

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Most importantly, take care of yourself. We are in Cancer season, so you got to love you. You got to enjoy life and not beat yourself up for it. You got to feel all the feels and be okay with it. Take a bath. Enjoy a walk in nature near water. Play your favorite jams and sing along. Be a lady who lunches. Life is what you make it, so make it gorgeous and fun.

Remember, you create the shift and change in your life. Sometimes, you may need a bat to come along and bite you, just to stun you into seeing that you’re veering slightly off task. But the bat, or the change it represents, isn’t there to hurt you. Change is there to push you toward expansion and growth on some level. So utilize this full moon to help you release the deep emotional intensity that has been building up inside of you so that you can fully transform and move forward as your most full, inner-loving self.

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That Cancer Full Moon When You Were in All Your Glory

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It’s time to feel. All of it.

The Cancer full moon is always my favorite. Full disclosure, my own moon is in Cancer so it always feels like I’m dialing in on some profound emotional experience or revelation on these days. Thank God I scheduled therapy for today. But I also love it because Cancer rules the moon, so it also marks her yearly moment to allow us all a collective emotional exhale. We may all be feeling a little emotionally constipated right now, stopped up from all the feelings we’ve had to confront and absorb over these last six months. Hell, these last two months have been enough of a roller coaster to last me a lifetime. But consider that whatever emotional process we initiated in July is now coming to a head and it wants to explode or release. Now it’s not entirely in the, “I need to scream at someone and have a breakdown” kind of way though it could be. I would just say that if we’ve been looking within and trying to cultivate some stronger relationship with ourselves around an area of our lives, now is the perfect time to move it all out of the head and into our hearts. It’s time to feel. All of it.

We should use this moment as an opportunity to love ourselves wholly. We must drop the bullshit mental games we play with ourselves and fall madly in love with the life we want to build. It’s not okay anymore to make excuses nor succumb to our own internal negative speak. Now this is all easier said than done. I know that I can meditate all day long and then come out of it to an immediate self-criticism. And that quick switch from “love and light” to “girl, your eyes look tired” is rough because then it makes the meditation feel like a failure. But it’s not. It’s just human. However, the goal is to minimize the feeling we take from the critical voice. Because THAT IS ALL IT IS. It’s not a real voice. It’s a voice conjured by past insecurities that we tell ourselves is the voice of reality. But the voice of reality is actually all around you. The voice of reality is simply the present moment.

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The time has come for you to believe in the future self that you deep down know exists in the space laid out for you

The goal is to navigate the pitfalls of the inner voices so that we come out of our days feeling gratitude and self-love. We cannot attach to the inner saboteur anymore. (By the way, if you don’t have this voice then you’ve succeeded at life and can just stop reading now.) When we do attach to that voice, we put a roadblock up in front of our abundance. We cannot see the opportunities coming our way. We cannot trust the voice of inspiration because we think it is the same voice of self-doubt. But these two do not come from the same place. Inspiration is fleeting while self-doubt will stick around. Inspiration comes in like a whisper from a dream while self-doubt nags like a roommate we can’t get rid of. Well, right now, inspiration, luck, abundance, and insight are available to us. We just have to feel with our whole mind, body, and soul that we deserve it to access it.

You deserve goodness. Can you truly believe that for yourself? I need you to feel that with your whole heart. Look in the mirror and tell that scared, loving being that is you, “I deserve goodness.” Do that for me. Do that for yourself. The time has come for a profound shift in your being, both emotional and spiritual. The time has come for you to believe in the future self that you deep down know exists in the space laid out for you. The time has come to get it together. Have faith that the goals and aspirations that you FEEL are true and can manifest if you can LOVE yourself like you never have before. Drop the shitty habits. Drop the shitty friends. Drop the shitty things you tell yourself over and over without even realizing you’re doing it. You have love in the world. And that full moon in Cancer is here, to illuminate it for you in all its glory. Be you in all your glory.

That Gemini Full Moon When You Got Out of Your Head And Into Your Life

 

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You are the Sun to your life, the greatest life-giving star to everything that creates your own personal Universe

I’ve recently come to the realization that I tend to put myself last, meaning that what I want always gets put behind what I believe other people want of me. I have trained myself to say, “Well let me handle what that other person needs from me since my thing can wait.” What that kind of thinking has fostered is a lifetime of waiting for myself to show up, well, for myself. I’ve constantly shown up for others out of fear of them hating me or being angry at me or not liking me. It’s all the business that comes along with wanting to be loved and accepted. But now, I’ve burst through to a place where I can see that I need to be the center of my world, and everyone else and their needs can orbit around me. Now this isn’t to say that I haven’t been selfish in the past. I have made choices where I had to put myself first. But in hindsight, those choices were made from a place of survival and not self-love. I wasn’t ever really running toward anything but more so running away. And this placed all of my dreams in a pile, one I would be back later to clean up. Thankfully, later is now. Better now than never.

The Gemini Full Moon time creates the space for us all to bring our inner hopes, needs, and questions to the surface so that we can take action on them. We have the opportunity to face whatever internal dialogue of self-doubt versus self-worth it is that we contend with and move through it. We can elevate ourselves from a one-dimensional to a multi-dimensional view of ourselves. We should take this time to grab those dreams, those visionary ideas for our lives that we haven’t given enough validity to and push them into some form of existence. This may be a necessary shift in a relationship or family, or perhaps a conversation that needs to happen around career. Maybe there’s a project that needs to begin or a new field of study that needs attention paid to. Whatever it is that you know in your heart and mind is the thing that will help you connect to your loved self, take some action toward it now.

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You must take stock of your life and see where your own inner conversation has led you. How are you keeping yourself small? Who have you been waiting for to give you permission that you can be who you want to be? You must move into a state of self-being and self-worth where you can feel enabled to accomplish the goals that you believe you could achieve once upon a dream. You have that opportunity. You just need to take responsibility for your growth and accept the abundance that is available to you. Sure, it may look like a terrible road to cross full of challenge and upheaval. But no great race was ever rewarded for not leaving the starting gate.

The key right now is to NOT go it alone. It’s so easy to stay inside the bubble of yourself and toil through your troubles there. You don’t want to seem weak to others. You don’t want friends to think you’re crazy or unhappy. You don’t want anyone to know you feel alone. But making yourself vulnerable to others is the fastest way to understand that you are not alone. And this Gemini Full Moon time wants you to connect with someone other than the critical voice in your head. Jupiter in Libra and Mars in Aquarius are around too, urging you to reach out and give yourself over to others, insecurities and all. Make yourself available to others. Ask for their insight. Gather advice on an issue. Allow their encouragement to enter into your being, to remind you that you are the Sun to your life, the greatest life-giving star to everything that creates your own personal Universe. So you deserve to do all that you feel encouraged and called to do. Yes, this process will make you feel like you have some growing up to do. But you do. We all do, no matter our age or experience. That is called living. So get to it. I’m here for you.

That Aries Full Moon When You Had an Emotional Rebellion

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I have always loved astrology.

Ever since my mom introduced me to the horoscopes at the back of the Los Angeles Daily News. But in 1999, on a whim, I took a job at a metaphysical bookshop. On my first day there, the store manager Angelique, a sweet witchy diva, told me that I wouldn’t be behind the counter forever. “You’ll be working here as an astrologer someday.” Yeah, okay lady, I thought to myself. Cut to months later, it’s my 23rd birthday and I’m reluctantly getting a past life reading with a beautiful Brit named Michelle. She was the type of reader who would book up months in advance but she’d had a rare, last minute cancellation and the time had gone to me. Barely minutes into the reading, she had hooked me with extremely personal insights that no one could have just guessed on. Toward the end of the reading, she asked me about my relationship with astrology. I thought back on Angelique’s words. “I like to read my horoscope.” She laughed and said that I should study it. “You’ve been an astrologer many times over. It will come back to you in no time.” I shrugged at the information but figured why not. I quickly dug into my study of the planets and their ancient divination system. Six months later, I was out from behind the counter and working as a full time astrologer. It has been with me since.

Owning my place as an astrologer took a lot of time and courage. It was challenging enough coming out to people as gay, but coming out as an astrologer presented a whole new level of awkward. Sometimes it was easy. People would find it unique or interesting. Of course, they usually wanted to know what I could tell them about them. But there were also times of being joked about or dismissed. So much so, that I abandoned the work for a short time. With time and friendly encouragement, I have come to realize that it has always been a part of me, and that won’t ever change. I certainly don’t claim to know how astrology entirely works, but I do know that it works for me and offers me extremely meaningful connections with the people I have the pleasure of working with on their charts. I also know that if I chose not to own this piece of myself, I would be denying a huge part of me that wants to blossom, whether just based from this lifetime or countless other life times before.

I am an astrologer, and I love it.

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The Full Moon in Aries wants us to fully embrace the pieces of ourselves that we may not entirely understand but that make us wholly unique

Aries is all about new beginnings. It’s the first sign of the zodiac. Therefore, it can be a little naïve and blind to reality. But that also means that it isn’t tainted by others’ perceptions of reality. Aries feels free to boldly create the reality it envisions. It can charge forth sometimes without care for others around, but it also hopes to inspire others to follow in its path. Aries has a strong leadership quality, as people are attracted to its tenacity and confidence, but it wants to lead people to their own personal rebellion. With Uranus, the planet of inspiration and uniqueness, joining the moon at this full moon time, it amplifies that Aries boldness. It isn’t the time for your outer personality and inner emotional self to war against each other. The two must embrace and integrate. Your sun (soul) and moon (heart) must dance together during this time, meaning you can’t be one person out in the world and another when alone at home. This separation of you will no longer fly.

This is emotional rebellion time. It’s time to feel your passions, goals, and desires as if for the first time. Fall in love all over again. Push yourself to take risks with how you feel. Commit to each moment in your life with your whole heart. Stop filtering yourself for fear of judgment. Fuck the haters. The haters are just a reflection of your own insecurities. And hell, sometimes the greatest hater to your life is you. So you gotta stop that shit. Use this full moon time to get real deep with yourself and communicate about what is really meaningful to you. Ask yourself, “What do I want to define me and my life moving forward?” Wonder what life could be like if no one was watching. No one was judging or scolding or side-eyeing. Just you, no holds barred. No self-imposed limitations on who you could be, who you could love, what you could accomplish. Now how can you bring that forth into your real world life?

Here are some brief offerings of help, per sign: Continue reading “That Aries Full Moon When You Had an Emotional Rebellion”

That Sagittarius Full Moon II, 2016

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Our greatest goal is to get in touch with the core of ourselves

Over the weekend, I was at a party and the conversation turned to the full moon, which then led it to turn to me. “So what does it mean, Angel?” Please note that I had probably had a few drinks at this point, but I’m always game to get into some astrology talk. “Well, it’s the second one in Sagittarius, which makes it even more meaningful. It’s all about truth. Deal with your truth or get the fuck off the pot.” Everyone laughed but then someone chimed in, “Isn’t that what they’re always about? Get in touch with your truth?” Someone else exclaimed in agreement. “Yeah, it’s always the same thing.” At the time, I belted out some response about how it’s always about truth because that’s what most people need to hear. Most are not in touch with their truth, which makes life harder for the rest of us. I don’t know if I made much sense at the time, and I agree that it can feel like every spiritual message is about getting in touch with your true self. But that’s for a reason. It’s because it’s true. Our greatest goal is to get in touch with the core of ourselves, and every day offers an opportunity to connect to that personal, inherent truth so that we can actualize our most valuable self.

Sagittarius is the truth seeker, so to have two full moons in that sign means that the universal energy is urging us to release our greatest truths out into the world. That can come in the form of an important relationship conversation, a creative project, or a deep internal realization that we must come to terms with inside our heart, mind, or spirit. Whatever it is isn’t easy. A lot in our lives may feel at odds with each other right now. Our home life may be sparring in some way with our work life. Or our internal self may want to do one thing that our external life isn’t assisting us in achieving. It may just be that the version of us that our past created is trying to give way to a version of us that we want to be now, but for some reason, we are unable to let go of whatever thought pattern, habit, relationship, job, or what have you that is holding us back. The genesis of our struggle isn’t always easy to connect to, but once we dig into the closet that houses all of our crap, we can uncover it and make way to free ourselves to be entirely who we want to be.

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The Sagittarius moon wants us to know that the more in touch we are with our truth, the clearer our path will be before us

So yes, I know a lot of this can sound broad and leave you wondering what the hell do I do about all this. But if you really take the time to understand yourself and your inner workings, you can make these general ideas concrete. And you will realize that it’s just not worth wasting time in this life. We really do allow ourselves to be clouded by the shit of our past, whether we know it or not. That is the human way. Our conditioning can keep us paralyzed from moving forward. The Sagittarius moon wants us to know that the more in touch we are with our truth, the clearer our path will be before us.

Here are some closer looks at the signs and how this full moon is affecting them:

Continue reading “That Sagittarius Full Moon II, 2016”

That Full Moon When You Got Real Clear

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We must be willing to dig into the truth of why we’re feeling so confused

Things just aren’t that clear right now. That’s what happens when Saturn, the planet of restriction and responsibility comes in close contact with Mercury, the ruler of the mind. Personally, I’ve been toiling over some decisions and driving myself to slightly epic points of insanity. Given that this is all occurring in Sagittarius means that it’s all trying to drive me toward a truth of some kind, but with Gemini in the mix, it’s hard to get quiet enough to clear the air. Whenever I sit with a client, I tend to always tell him or her that meditation is key to one’s success. And I always do my best to walk that talk and meditate daily. But even my recent meditations have been overrun with lists of things to do and questions about what’s right or wrong.

Today marks a Gemini full moon, which means it’s possible to connect to our minds in a way that helps us to release some answers to the questions on our thoughts. But we must be willing to dig into the truth of why we’re feeling so confused. Are we letting some fear or insecurity creep into the decision making process, clouding our best judgment and intuition? Or perhaps we’ve assigned some person in our life too much power over how we think or feel, causing our heart’s compass a lack of clarity. Whatever the case, we need to be willing to come to blows with our truest selves and face reality. We know what’s messing up. There just needs to be a willingness to accept what is a possibly a mistake we’ve made.

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This specific full moon time can feel challenging, but it can also be liberating

So how to know the truth? Well first off, trust your gut. You know your fears by now. You know what they sound like and you know what they respond to. If you’re not sure, then let me help. Your fears are usually excited by some need to be accepted by others. They can be enticed by the idea of being “left out” or considered a failure. They thrive on intimacy, and vulnerability. They don’t want you to succeed. Instead, they want you to stay put because it’s safe and free of change. So if you can’t get clear enough to make a strong decision, then take the time to dissect what is going on in your life and ask yourself if you’re being shrouded by some fear-based idea. Get calm and ask yourself what truly feels right and what feels wrong. You will know what makes sense for you. And let everyone else dictate their own lives, not yours.

It’s important to feel your thoughts and think about your feelings in a responsible way. Yes, these are two different things. Feel what you’re saying so that you know that you’re not saying something that can hurt another. If you’re thoughts are causing you pain and you can’t release them in a healthy way, they will only transform into hurtful words toward another. And this is never good, especially during the holidays when family is involved. Also, think about your feelings from an adult point of view. Are you overreacting? Are you being childish? Now is not the time to just react. Make sure your feelings about something or someone aren’t connected to some outdated pain or uncertainty. You may be bummed but it could just be about something that bears no resemblance to your actual reality. It’s just an old thinking pattern that feels ready to be released. So use this full moon time to release it in some constructive way, i.e. writing a letter you don’t need to send, some creative endeavor, or by simply beating a pillow for ten seconds. Um yeah, I do it. And it works.

You Deserve All Good Things... it's true!

This specific full moon time can feel challenging, but it can also be liberating. It can be a time to release your old, “young” ways of thinking that don’t serve you anymore. You need to take responsibility for your thoughts and your feelings. No one is making you feel the way you do. You are simply choosing to respond. And you need to get a grip on how you do so. You deserve to feel good about your choices. You deserve to be confident. You have it within you. So have gratitude for your ability to change and grow, and have a fantastic Thanksgiving.

That Aries Full Moon When You Really Grew Up

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We have been motivated to leave behind old ways of being and to step into a more “grown-up” version of the person we want to be

I was talking to a friend last night, and we were discussing how both us and some of our friends are all feeling in a very similar place right now. It’s as if we’ve come through a larger cycle of transformation and change and we’re ready to “leave school for the real world.” In thinking about it, I realized that, collectively, we have done just that. For the last three years, Saturn has been moving through Scorpio. This three-year period has pushed us to face some of our weaknesses and our fears. It has asked us to move beyond our comfort zone and to try on new aspects of ourselves. We have been motivated to leave behind old ways of being and to step into a more “grown-up” version of the person we want to be. It has not been easy, and it may have left some of us in a place of “What the fuck do I do now?” But know that you’ve moved away from some relationships, work situations, home environments, etc, that just weren’t serving you. And as rough as it has been, it has also been rewarding. And you should feel much more in your power than the you who lived in your life three years ago.

Thankfully, the Aries Full Moon is here to help us culminate this process so that we can charge forth into the next horizon. It wants you to take your first major step into the newness of your current, more “grown-up” life. It’s time to take major advantage of the shift that your life has been creating for you. Take ownership of the positive changes you are instilling into your life. You know that leaving your job or committing to your new man was a challenge to undertake, but how strongly are you taking the reins in writing this next chapter? It’s time to seal the deal and just be the damn change already. Feel connected to your instincts and trust that inner voice to guide you properly. Whatever it is you’re trying to manifest, you have it in you to do so. You just have be the guide. No one else is gonna come along with a map and escort you to some gold. You are the map. Just be present enough to the flow of your life to follow it.

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I don’t need to take months to accomplish something when I have today

I know this to be true. Three years ago, I was in a job that felt meaningless to me. I knew it had to change but I didn’t know what the change was going to look like. As soon as I took ownership of the change that needed to occur, life took over. It wasn’t always easy but it was rewarding. And now I step into this next phase with that same sense of belief and excitement. But I also know that I can’t sleep on it. I don’t need to take months to accomplish something when I have today. I was lucky enough to jump into the moving waters before so that I could flow into profound opportunities and glorious personal growth experiences. But now, I must stay present so to navigate the rocks and waves ahead. I must stay present to my journey or else it will overcome me and I will be left, washed up on shore, waiting for another wave to catch me. I must stay present because there is no alternative. And you know this.

And now some further words on each sign:

Continue reading “That Aries Full Moon When You Really Grew Up”