That Scorpio Full Moon, 2016

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The key to this current Scorpio Full Moon is to acknowledge the signs and recognize where you need growth and change in your life

I write this from a plane 33,000 feet in the air, en route to Los Angeles from New York. The first time I made this trip was over fifteen years ago, in 1999 (Prince reference – we just lost him today, may he rest). I had gone with some friends and had one of the most magical trips of my life. We dressed up and went to classy bars. We stayed in a jazz-themed hostel across the street from Central Park. We ate pizza every day and didn’t give a fuck. Magic. It was during that transformative trip I realized that I had no choice but to move to New York City. Two years later I did. That too was magical. The plan was to move there, make theater, get a play onto Broadway, and become a true artist. Needless to say, things didn’t play out that way.

Two years later, I was living in a run-down walk up on 7th St and Avenue C, and there was no glamour to be found. I still had my dreams, though I felt like they were rejecting me. I did write and direct a play, but it was downtown, far from Broadway. In hindsight, still a triumph, yet at the time, it felt like a disaster. After about two years in NYC, I went home to L.A. to visit family and friends, in hopes they wouldn’t see my sadness. However, it showed. I had been working part-time at a movie studio in New York and was in love with it, but I didn’t see myself working a full-time office job. That wouldn’t be the way to true artistry. But in L.A., I saw many of my friends working in the business and enjoying it. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought that working in film would be a larger way to reach people. Maybe I should just work my way into that business and see if that was my path to storytelling.

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I went back to New York confused. I loved the city so much. I loved all it represented. But perhaps I had put in my time there, gained the necessary knowledge, and now it was time to allow the stream of life to take me in a different direction. But that would mean everything I believed about myself wasn’t true. It would mean that I would have to let go of the life I thought I was going to live. I would need to shift my perception of me in some way. I would have to transform in a major way. Could I do that?

I rode over the Williamsburg Bridge from JFK, contemplating my future, telling myself that if the Universe had a plan for me, if I was meant to leave NYC, it would illuminate the path. It was late and went to bed, determined to pay attention to the signs. The next morning, I awoke to my roommate knocking on my make-shift door. “You up?” I responded and she said we needed to talk. “I know you just got home but I don’t think this should wait. And I didn’t want to bug you on your trip.” A pause. “I’ve sold the apartment. We have to be out in a month.” My life lit up. I stood up on the bed and started bouncing all over it. “Are you okay?” she asked, a curious look on her face.

I saw the sign. “I’m great. I’m moving back to L.A.!”

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A month later, I was on this flight again, flying west. Once in L.A., it all unfolded. I healed some old wounds with my parents. I got a reputable film business job on very little experience in less than six months. I guess you could say it was right place, right time. Now, the transition wasn’t all easy. The mental shift took much time. I mourned the loss of my New York dream, beating myself up for giving up. I eventually did learn to recognize that I had realized my dream, but just in the way that I needed to. And I had also let go and trusted the Universe when it spoke to me. And now some dozen years later, I feel in the flow of my path more than I have in some time. I have learned to embrace change, and the growth of new dreams.

The key to this current Scorpio Full Moon is to acknowledge the signs and recognize where you need growth and change in your life. Somewhere in your life, you need to let go of a version of yourself that you’ve been holding onto so that you can embrace the transformation that wants to take hold of you at this time. I know that for me, I told myself that I had to either be a “true artist” or be behind the scenes, in the shadows. And for some time, I’ve been operating solely from the latter. However, I know now that I am an artist who also stands back and helps others. I can be all things. The only one telling me that I can’t is me, and it’s time to blow that bullshit out the window. I’m leaving it here, 33,000 feet in the air, where it cannot reach me.

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So what version of you do you need to release so that you can ground into the true you? Today is that day. Commit to your personal growth so that you can evolve and get closer to the authenticity that is in your heart, in your soul, and needs to be expressed. Maybe it’s career-related. Perhaps you need to step up and let a relationship evolve, or dissolve. You could be contemplating a move but just feel afraid to take on all that it will entail. Or there could just be a really challenging conversation you’re avoiding that could ultimately be the key to a great personal evolution.

There are messages being delivered to you by conversations and experiences in your life. Maybe even in dreams. So dig into them. Don’t be taken advantage of by your insecurities. They will hold you back because change is their greatest fear. And you don’t have time for that. Also, insecurities sometimes take on the form of people in your life. So if someone is reflecting that onto you, consider how you’re meant to deal with it, whether it’s removing him or her from your life, or standing up for yourself.

I have faith in you. In the words of that legend, Prince, “And if the elevator tries to bring you down, Go crazy, punch a higher floor.” You got this.

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