That Capricorn Full Moon When You Can’t Avoid The Change At Hand

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I recently had a dream where I was bitten by a bat. My hubby, the Aquarius, and I were sleeping and I noticed this little bat with bright red eyes perched in the corner of the room. He looked evil, intense, and I was sorta terrified. I knew I had to get it out of the house. But when I went to try and usher it out, it flew right at me and bit my hand. I could feel the pain of its bite, and there were two pinpricks of blood. It then landed on a wall nearby and just continued to stare at me, with those bright red eyes. I asked it, “Why did you do that?” It just glared. I woke up from the dream, and curiously still felt the numbness of its bite on my hand.

I thought about how the bat is a symbol of change and rebirth for me. It has shown up in various animal card readings, and it has appeared as a spirit animal when I have done some shamanic journeying work. So I figured its return had something to do with me needing to shift and evolve. Maybe I needed to do a new shamanic journey and reach out to it. However, I didn’t.

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Weeks later, I was hiking with a good friend and fellow Aries, who’s also a fantastic reservoir of spiritual connection for me. We had been talking about all things life and love, and I brought up the bat dream to her. “I’m thinking maybe it was about me really needing to focus on making some changes in myself. And that I need to take another shamanic journey.” Just then, my friend’s mouth dropped and her eyes told me to turn around. I did and saw a jeep with a large bat symbol on its hood. I mean, literally covering half of the hood. I turned back to my friend, who still had the same look on her face. We laughed. “I guess I do need to do those things, huh?”

Later that week, I went to my hubby’s shamanic journey circle and had a wonderful meet up with my bat guide. He told me that I needed to change, and then he killed me, which I guess is pretty common in these types of meditative experiences (if you haven’t journeyed, definitely check it out!) That death was symbolic of the transition I’m currently in, from the outdated version of me into a new, more focused me. And I believe it was setting me up for this current astrological landscape.

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Today marks the Capricorn Full Moon, and it’s a doozy. It’s going to be conjunct Pluto, which means both the moon and Pluto will be in the sign of Capricorn, conjoining and amplifying each other’s energies. And together, they will oppose the Sun and Mars, who are conjunct in Cancer. So what the hell does all that mean?

Basically, it’s time to see how bat, or your own inner guide, has been trying to speak to you and nurture you toward some kind of personal shift. Full moons are all about release, so there is some area in your life that is ready for a purging. And with that connection to Pluto, it’s in a big way. This is some “My soul needs this right now” business. And your heart needs it. You’ve either been in the throes of learning how to love yourself better or have been avoiding that process altogether. Either way, it is time to commit to loving you and paying attention to what you need. Your life is offering you signs to help mark the path, but are you paying attention?

Gone are the days of just standing back and waiting for permission to move forward or for someone to come along and hand the answer to you.

You are the answer.

The Mars/Sun component is also lending you a sense of urgency, like “I need to figure this out now.” And well, you do. Gone are the days of just standing back and waiting for permission to move forward or for someone to come along and hand the answer to you. You are the answer. Spirit is here to help in the form of meditations, dreams, and omens. So if you’ve ever dabbled in having a connection to spirit, now’s the time to commit, in whatever way works for you. Take you and the things that interest you much more seriously. No one else is going to do so until you do the same. And you deserve to feel purposeful with your life.

Jupiter is also finally moving forward, bringing some movement to areas of our lives that may have felt a little slow to get going. But don’t worry if things aren’t manifesting right away, even when you’re focusing your energy toward the things you’re supposed to be doing. As Lana Del Rey sings, “It’s enough just to make you go crazy.” And it is, but try to be like a Lana song and take it slow. Trust that the momentum is building because you are working toward building the thing that feels authentic to you.

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Most importantly, take care of yourself. We are in Cancer season, so you got to love you. You got to enjoy life and not beat yourself up for it. You got to feel all the feels and be okay with it. Take a bath. Enjoy a walk in nature near water. Play your favorite jams and sing along. Be a lady who lunches. Life is what you make it, so make it gorgeous and fun.

Remember, you create the shift and change in your life. Sometimes, you may need a bat to come along and bite you, just to stun you into seeing that you’re veering slightly off task. But the bat, or the change it represents, isn’t there to hurt you. Change is there to push you toward expansion and growth on some level. So utilize this full moon to help you release the deep emotional intensity that has been building up inside of you so that you can fully transform and move forward as your most full, inner-loving self.

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That Gemini New Moon When You Got Real With Yourself

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We have to get down to releasing our self-made soap operas so that we can focus on the lives we want to be living for ourselves

I recently got over a conflict I was having with a friend, except the friend wasn’t entirely aware that there was even a conflict at all. Yes, that reveals me to be somewhat of a passive-aggressive headcase. I can admit to that. But there was also real hurt and sadness there, and I had constructed all kinds of reasons why I shouldn’t directly confront the problem. Some of it I even construed as being considerate on my part. But of course, it was all just fear-based. And in hindsight, I think some of the drama I was creating in my head, and in my relationship, was just stifled creativity withheld by resistance.

In his masterful book, THE WAR OF ART, Steven Pressfield writes, “Creating soap opera in our lives is a form of resistance.” And resistance is what keeps us from living “the unlived life within us.” We can so easily get caught up in what he’s doing or what she said or how so-and-so and so-and-so did such-and-such together and they must not care about me, but in the end, it’s almost always just some bullshit that doesn’t need to affect us. As Pressfield suggests, we have to get down to releasing our self-made soap operas so that we can focus on the lives we want to be living for ourselves.

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This Gemini new moon wants you to get real with both the person you are inside and the person you’re expressing out into the world

The Gemini New Moon is all about unifying the conversations that our heart selves and our personality selves are having, so that we can clear a path for a more authentic expression of being. Sometimes we just feel some kind of way about something, but we don’t express it. We internalize it, like I did with my friend, causing a split in our life continuum. We resist the urge to speak our truth, thus leaving ourselves to suffer in silence. And it’s usually for no good reason. So this Gemini new moon wants you to get real with both the person you are inside and the person you’re expressing out into the world. Can you see if there’s any disconnect there? Are you suppressing a part or parts of yourself in some area of your life just to keep the peace? Is there a hole in your heart that you’ve been resisting to fill?

Remember, this is the launch of a new month-long cycle. So let’s take a closer look at each sign and how to work with it.

Continue reading “That Gemini New Moon When You Got Real With Yourself”

That Scorpio Full Moon When It Was Change or Bust

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The Scorpio Full Moon wants you to shift away from your outdated ways of thinking and feeling and trade in your old stories for some new ones

Recently, I had an interesting reading with a client who didn’t really feel like she was all that connected to spirituality. Sure, she thought crystals were cool and she was open to her friend’s gift of a reading with me, but she didn’t really have a firm foundation for her own connection to spirit. In reading her chart, it basically said that she needed to establish one in order to live as her best self. “Spirituality doesn’t have to be religion or some big deal. It can simply be about cultivating a relationship with presence”, I told her. “Sometimes you just have to learn how to be okay with stillness and silence so that you can be present to the signs and symbols that are trying to appear in your life.” That idea resonated with her, and she seemed to open up to thinking and feeling about a relationship with spirit in a whole new way.

At the end of the reading, I glanced at my deck of small animal cards. The Moose was visible, as it was the last one I had pulled myself. I had the thought to have her pull one, as I sometimes do with clients but then brushed it off. Our reading had already gone long and it was getting late. We chatted as I moved a chair back into place and saw that a larger version of the Moose card was on the floor. Unbeknownst to me, it had fallen out of the back of my notebook where I had placed it after a reading long ago. She asked me about it, and I told her the crazy story associated with it, and my wedding – I’ll tell you another time. But it all made me think that perhaps she should pull a card. Maybe it was a sign. So I grabbed the small deck and shuffled them up a bunch. I told her to use her left hand and pick one. She did. And, there was the Moose. Immediately, we both flipped out, laughing. She couldn’t believe it. Skeptical, she shouted, “Let me see that deck!” I fanned them out, showing her that each one was different. She had just chosen that one. Its message:

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It was beyond prophetic in regards to everything we’d just spoken about in our reading. Neither of us could believe the serendipity. I exclaimed to her, “The signs! Pay attention to the signs! “ It amplified everything we had been talking about, and it was a good reminder for her to shift her perspective on living a more present, spirit-based life. It was also a reminder for me to have someone pull a card the second I think of it, without a second guess. I have usually been a person who second-guesses everything I do or think. In the past, I’ve allowed fear and insecurity to get in the way of belief and trust. But that shit’s got to change. If I can help shift an agnostic woman into believing there is something connecting us all and offering us guidance, then I can certainly shift myself into being someone that no longer allows self-doubt to distract me from my truth. And that is my new story.

I am no longer someone who allows self-doubt to distract me from my truth.

The Scorpio Full Moon wants you to shift away from your outdated ways of thinking and feeling and trade in your old stories for some new ones. Where or how in your life have you been keeping yourself in a mental or emotional rut? Who or what have you been a “victim” to in your heart and mind, even though the reality of the situation has long been gone? It’s time to honor our subconscious, spirit-based desire to transform in a big way and release whatever old patterns we have been perpetuating. We all allow ourselves to get caught up in our beliefs to the point that we can’t see past them. We become unable to free ourselves from how we’ve grown accustomed to seeing ourselves in certain areas of our lives. We may be saying, “I’m unlucky in love.” “I will never forgive him/her.” “If only I’d done something different, my life would be so much better.” There are a ton of these stories that we’ve told ourselves forever that have now created the present state of our heart and mind. But what if we released them for good and wrote new, more self-loving ones?

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Now is the time to believe in YOU in a whole new way. I know that you’ve heard this kind of message before, but more than ever, you must let go of the old shit. It’s time to forgive, make amends, and move on. It’s time to release the feelings and thoughts of the past that have hoarded away inside of you for far too long, causing you to hurt and heartache.

It’s time to believe in a new beginning

Approach the situations of your life in a new way, with new eyes and new ideas. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself and to others. If you’re always feeding negative speak to your mind and to others, then you’re simply cultivating a life of negativity. That’s all you’ll be able to see. So give yourself a brand makeover, as the kids would say. Ground into the reality of who you actually are – not whom you’ve been seeing yourself as for years now. Or more so, as the person you told yourself to be based on what parents, the cool kids, old friends, TV told you to be.

Be willing to change. That’s all it really takes. You need the recognition that there are parts of you that need to change so that you can grow. Whatever you’ve been most stubborn about releasing is exactly what needs to go. It doesn’t need to be hard. It doesn’t need to derail friendships or careers or ruin lives. You simply just need to start, inside, with a little personal shift within. The rest, like that Moose card lying on the floor, will then appear to you and guide you toward your next step.

That Libra Full Moon When You Were All You

The Libra Full Moon is here, inviting us to release whatever is halting our life’s complete balance. The key is in how we approach all of the aspects of our lives. Are we entering into every situation with our authenticity intact? Can we bring our whole self into every relationship without censorship, without fear of judgment or ridicule? What piece(s) of ourselves are we withholding from the people in our lives in order to preserve what we think is our truest self?

In order to fully welcome balance in, we must embrace the chaos alive at this time. We must dive into it, ready to transform, apt to release whatever piece of ourselves isn’t helping us to activate our highest power. What can we contribute at this time that is in alignment with our most authentic being? How is our unique self able to play a role in making our life, our world better? When are we fully willing to change what isn’t working?

The sky is full of retrograde at this time, so take the next few weeks to reflect on how to best serve your mind, your heart, your sense of personal responsibility, and your relationship with joy. That last one is key. Without a sense of hope, there is no current to swim into. Remember that you can love yourself through all of the heartache and sadness and confusion. 

You have to believe in you, wholeheartedly. 

You have to believe that you, at your core, are great enough to achieve your goals. To help yourself and others heal. To make a difference, as best you can. And by following your heart, with sincere passion, that you will be called into situations and relationships that nurture you and make you feel whole. That give you balance.

Happy Libra Full Moon!

That Aries New Moon That Lit the Flame

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That Aries new moon is in such effect, I just had to light the candles and get into some ritual with it. Aries is fire. The entire sky is either in a fire planet or being ruled by one right now. So we all must allow our lives to be a little bit on fire right now too.

Ignite the fire of passion within you for a greater inspiration in your life. The world may be crazy right now but you have the opportunity to find a quiet calm within the blowing winds around you. Whether your greatest challenges have been in love, career, communication, or personal well-being, you can light a new path for yourself. You just have to put your personal power into it – there is no time for sitting back and waiting for someone to come along and guide you.

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Your personal power is only challenged if you try to bring all of your past baggage along with you into this next chapter. Kick it all to the curb and move into tomorrow without being held back by past beliefs and ways of being. That shit is tired. And that’s why you’ve been tired. So stop carrying around the excess weight and dive into your dreams. Remember, you can only live your dreams when you stop relating to them as fantasy.

Love yourself enough now to know that you deserve to live your best, truest existence.

What are you waiting for?

Happy Pisces New Moon!

Happy Pisces New Moon to all! A great opportunity to write yourself a new story about how you relate to your intuition and imagination. 

Have you allowed yourself to be fully in tune with what you know to be your authentic being, or has some old way of thinking and being held you back? Are you able to dream and imagine the best life for yourself or have you lost faith in the future? Meditate today on how to begin anew, on how to see, think, and feel about yourself in a new way so that you can then manifest what you know in your heart to be your divine truth. I believe in you. 

And that’s not just an amazing Kylie Minogue song. That’s my heart’s message to you.

That Leo Full Moon When You Felt Good

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My mom is thrusting patterned shirt after patterned shirt at me, saying, “What about this one? I just want you to look nice.” At the moment, I may be wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt that says, “This shirt is my Halloween costume.” And it’s August. But I’m also twelve so I think that’s allowed. 

I swat away almost every shirt she tosses toward me, knowing that they won’t fit or will make me look like a large sectional from the seventies. I’m at least fifty pounds overweight at this point. I’ve also tried on at least twenty shirts of varying styles in this store over the past hour and nothing is fitting my body, so I’m tired. And I’m ashamed. I may not know how to intellectualize that or deal with it, but I am completely ashamed.

I’m ashamed that I’m not the kid whose mom is telling him he can’t get everything he wants because he just has so many options. I’m over feeling like a loser and a failure. My mom knows this. And because we’re both young, respectively, she says to me, “Well you just have to lose weight. Nothing is ever going to fit you looking like this.” She pauses. “And no one’s ever going to love you if you look like this.”
Boom.

Flash to me now as an adult who forgives my mother for saying this because she is nothing but pure love for me, and she knows now that she didn’t always say the right thing. But at the time, her statement buckled me and helped to carve out a mentality of never being good enough, of being less than. I forever became that fat kid, a disappointment because I didn’t fit in easily enough. And over time, that idea expanded beyond my looks. (I have since lost the weight and am confident in my appearance.) Subconsciously, I translated that mentality to other areas of my life. In work, I settled for seeing myself as less than, even in positions that I was specifically hired to do. I allowed myself to sabotage a job so that I could ultimately make true the feeling that I was not good enough for it. In relationships, I settled for guys that I knew were no good for me but figured they were the best I could get. Tale as old as time, I know. Most recently, I’ve realized how this works in my creativity, holding back my most authentic voice because “no one’s ever gonna love it.” All old, outdated ways of thinking and being that have taken me years to notice and shift. But with acknowledgment, I am doing my best to move forward and be better.

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Now is the time to take responsibility for your own authentic self and give it the freedom to enjoy life.

This Leo Full Moon is here to help all of us acknowledge how we may be holding onto some old, unnecessary baggage, and thus, holding back some of our inner roar. Because it coincides with a lunar eclipse, it’s very connected to past patterns. So we can look to the last eclipses from mid September of last year and August of 2015 to help get a sense of where in our lives we’re supposed to be looking here. What was going on in those two times for you and is there any correlation to something going on for you now? Is there an area in your life where you’re feeling suppressed and just “not good”? That could be a clue in. Whatever the result of your findings, what can you do or what do you need more of in your life to reclaim that joy?

Now is the time to take responsibility for your own authentic self and give it the freedom to enjoy life. Can you own what that means for you without caving into some sort of fear around what others will think of you? Shit, what you will think of you? Because you can have an idea for who you think you should be, or what you should be doing with your life, your job, your home, your relationship, etc., but then you have to ask if it’s really what’s in alignment with your soul’s passion right now. You have to ask who you’re making decisions about your life for: those in your life who you’re afraid will judge you, an old you that you don’t want to disappoint, or the you that is you, right now, reading this. Know that what will make you happy now is way more important that that thing you told yourself would make you happy years ago. And they may be the same thing so that’s dope. But if you’re still approaching it in the same way you did before, then you’re probably just banging your head against a door with no room on the other side of it.

So here’s a full moon ritual for you. Draw a picture of yourself, the ideal you that you’ve always envisioned yourself to be. If you’re like me and can’t really draw, then just write out the important details to help illustrate that person. Put all your intention of who you think you’re destined to be into it.

Then, in a safe way, burn it.

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Do this because you need to release the idea of who you think you are meant to be so that you can actualize the authentic you who is all ready to bust through now. All of that old stuff that you’re ready to let go of still has a hand in drawing that picture of the ideal. So let it all go, in one fell swoop, so that you can be excited and surprised by the real you, the present you, that is ready to emerge and claim your space in the world in a way that you haven’t allowed yourself to ever before.