Tag: change

How to Have an Emma Thompson Cry, and Deal With the Last Full Moon

What of your emotional past have you been hoarding?

The other day, I had an Emma Thompson moment in the dressing room of a Saks Fifth Avenue outlet store.  If you’ve seen LOVE ACTUALLY, then you have an idea of what I’m referring to.  It’s that moment in the film where she ducks into the bedroom to have a quick, private cry before returning to her family as if nothing is wrong – an emotional dance you assume she has done one too many times.  Well, I didn’t duck in purposefully to have a cry.  But after a long, tiresome day and attempting to fit my post-holiday weight gain butt into some clothes designed for much taller and thinner people than me, I broke down.  Not because I was feeling ugly or fat, but because I was depleted.  I was beaten and tired from my year and hadn’t taken a moment to exhale it all out.  So instead, the moment chose itself, under that horrible, department store lighting.

It was then I recalled that it was the full moon in Cancer that day, so for a Cancer moon like me, it was going to be a day of harsh, emotional challenge.  And I had to release it out.  However, later that day, after some further retrospection, I realized that the full moon was actually about releasing more than some tears.  See, this was not the first time I had been the star of a dressing room cry.  But I had to work a little bit harder to make it my last.

It’s important to throw things out and start anew

The Cancer full moon is all about releasing your past.  You see, in general, Cancers are all about collecting the past, and they do a good job of utilizing what they gather as they move forward in life.  But it can also be easy for a Cancer to hold onto the past in a way that is unhealthy.  I’d imagine that the first hoarder was probably a Cancer.  Some cave man or woman just rolling a ridiculous amount of stones into the home cave, storing them for some event that would never happen.  So this past full moon was well timed with the New Year.  You may have found yourself wanting to be rid of unnecessary clutter.  And it’s important to throw things out and start anew.  But the greatest place to take stock is inside of your self.  What of your emotional past have you been hoarding?

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It’s Time for Some YOU Realness.

As we gear up for the end of the year (or to some, what could be the end of the world), it’s best to take assessment of where we’re at with ourselves.  And more importantly, where we seek change and who can best help us to attain it.  Because for the most part, that’s what we’re all feeling now – a need to make change somewhere in our lives.  And this feeling is coming from the gut, up.  I get more into this, and offer a more specific assessment on my thoughts for the 2012/2013 shift in an interview I did for my friend Drew’s website, Open Doorway Reflections (http://www.opendoorwayreflections.com/?p=50).  But for now, I want to remind each of you reading this that you must not ignore whatever call is coming up inside of you at this time.  And if you’re not entirely feeling something yet, give it ten days.  That’s when the Sun will meet Pluto in Capricorn, and we will all be activated to look at the bigger picture of our lives.  Yes, it’s the end of the year and we all start to go through that process around this time of the year.  But right now, it means more than ever.  So don’t ignore it.

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OLD HABITS DIE NOW

Anxiety found its way to me at a very early age.

I have no idea when I started biting my nails.  I must have been around 7 or 8 when my dad would yell at me from the couch as I sat four feet away from the TV set, just gnawing on my hand.  It sounds like anxiety found its way to me at a very early age.  Chewing my nails was a way to deal with the pent up energy.  And it still is, I guess.  What can I say: I have a lot of spirit running through me at all times.

Today as I was driving on a grocery run, I started to bite my nail.  I immediately became present with what I was doing and pulled my hand away.  As I continued to drive, it dawned on me that I have been partaking in this particular bad habit for almost thirty years.  Thirty years of behavior that my young child self started while mindlessly staring at The Cosby Show.  And here I am.  A grown ass man, still mindless.  So what the hell has kept me stuck in this juvenile routine for so many years?  I think it’s probably a product of my fearful upbringing, coupled with a problem relaxing.  But it ain’t doing me any good now.

We must free ourselves from the habits that keep us from actualizing our best selves. 

You may think that a habit like nail biting isn’t a big deal.  Gross, yes.  But is it destructive?  On the surface, no.  But in truth, when it comes to certain stressful situations, I am still that scared, nervous little boy.  And in my adult life, when dealing in business or with a client, people don’t want to see some scared little boy in front of them.  They want to see a confident, capable man.  And that is who I want to be.  But holding onto some childish activity just lets me keep one foot in the doorway to adolescence, and that’s a problem.  Because then I am not fully taking responsibility for the present moment, and I am ultimately expressing fear about being a fully realized adult.  I’m keeping myself from truly living as me.

Well, it’s time to let go.

This week’s full moon in Taurus wants you to get real.

We all have our vices, addictions, and areas of life where bad decision-making reigns, but the planets currently have a grander plan in mind for the sum of us.  We must free ourselves from the habits that keep us from actualizing our best selves.  This week’s full moon in Taurus wants you to get real and see that by holding onto a habit, you’re not giving yourself the complete commitment you deserve.  More so, it wants you to get to the root of your apprehension to going all in on yourself.  In order to be the greatest expression of yourself, you have to be dedicated to the dream you have for your life.  It is when you strive for that dream that you activate the scenarios and relationships that will take you to the next level of your existence.

So what nasty habits are keeping you from making that ultimate commitment – the one that would have you dazzling at the change you’ve made for your life?  Look at your life and choose one habit that is keeping you from actualizing the next, best version of you.  Now, that is not to say that the ‘you’ now isn’t good enough.  But the ‘you’ now probably isn’t taking full advantage of the gifts you have nor is it fulfilling the true purpose you see for yourself.  So look deep and see where in your life you could stand to let go of an old way of being.

Here’s some further help, in case you need it.

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Are You Walking with a Ghost?

Are you going to recognize the change and live it, or will you be a ghost in your own life?

Recently, I was at the gym, working on my fitness and pondering the various questions of my life.  I was thinking about work, about my health, and about my need to make some important mentality shifts.  I had already been in the headspace of change, as I had been thinking about Pluto and Saturn and the recent moves they had each made.  And given that these planets are all about transformation in our lives, I knew that I was in the midst of metamorphosis.  So as I finished up my tricep pushdowns and moved over to a back machine, all of my mental lingering led me to a sudden thought that I was compelled to jot down.  I quickly pulled out my phone and used my ‘Notes’ feature to write out the following:

“It’s time to commit to the transformation.  There is no turning back.  Turning back doesn’t even equal death because the death has already occurred.  The change is in place.  Are you going to recognize the change and live it, or will you be a ghost in your own life?”

I was immediately struck by the idea of being “a ghost in your own life”.  I thought of how so many of us refuse to meet a change, or death, in life.  Whether it’s the end of a relationship or the loss of a loved one or even growing up into an adult, we can all find it hard to let go and move on at times.  But still, life moves on without us.  Yet we remain stuck in our outdated beliefs and mentalities.  And like ghosts, we wander through our present day lives responding from a place, a feeling, of the past.  The pain of long ago haunts our current relationships and work lives, making for weighted, poor decision making.  And then we wonder why we’re unhappy.  Why things won’t change and get better.  Well, until we realize that we are producing our current reality from a place of pain – one that has been festering in our psyches for far too long – we won’t be able to fully and cleanly move into the next chapter of our lives.  And right now, we are all feeling the ache to manifest change in a major way.  That’s because Saturn is knocking at our door and Pluto is rumbling under our feet.

As Rupaul says, “The time has come for you to lip-sync.  For your life.”  So let’s get to it.

What does this new phase bring for you?

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