Anxiety found its way to me at a very early age.
I have no idea when I started biting my nails. I must have been around 7 or 8 when my dad would yell at me from the couch as I sat four feet away from the TV set, just gnawing on my hand. It sounds like anxiety found its way to me at a very early age. Chewing my nails was a way to deal with the pent up energy. And it still is, I guess. What can I say: I have a lot of spirit running through me at all times.
Today as I was driving on a grocery run, I started to bite my nail. I immediately became present with what I was doing and pulled my hand away. As I continued to drive, it dawned on me that I have been partaking in this particular bad habit for almost thirty years. Thirty years of behavior that my young child self started while mindlessly staring at The Cosby Show. And here I am. A grown ass man, still mindless. So what the hell has kept me stuck in this juvenile routine for so many years? I think it’s probably a product of my fearful upbringing, coupled with a problem relaxing. But it ain’t doing me any good now.
We must free ourselves from the habits that keep us from actualizing our best selves.
You may think that a habit like nail biting isn’t a big deal. Gross, yes. But is it destructive? On the surface, no. But in truth, when it comes to certain stressful situations, I am still that scared, nervous little boy. And in my adult life, when dealing in business or with a client, people don’t want to see some scared little boy in front of them. They want to see a confident, capable man. And that is who I want to be. But holding onto some childish activity just lets me keep one foot in the doorway to adolescence, and that’s a problem. Because then I am not fully taking responsibility for the present moment, and I am ultimately expressing fear about being a fully realized adult. I’m keeping myself from truly living as me.
Well, it’s time to let go.
This week’s full moon in Taurus wants you to get real.
We all have our vices, addictions, and areas of life where bad decision-making reigns, but the planets currently have a grander plan in mind for the sum of us. We must free ourselves from the habits that keep us from actualizing our best selves. This week’s full moon in Taurus wants you to get real and see that by holding onto a habit, you’re not giving yourself the complete commitment you deserve. More so, it wants you to get to the root of your apprehension to going all in on yourself. In order to be the greatest expression of yourself, you have to be dedicated to the dream you have for your life. It is when you strive for that dream that you activate the scenarios and relationships that will take you to the next level of your existence.
So what nasty habits are keeping you from making that ultimate commitment – the one that would have you dazzling at the change you’ve made for your life? Look at your life and choose one habit that is keeping you from actualizing the next, best version of you. Now, that is not to say that the ‘you’ now isn’t good enough. But the ‘you’ now probably isn’t taking full advantage of the gifts you have nor is it fulfilling the true purpose you see for yourself. So look deep and see where in your life you could stand to let go of an old way of being.
Here’s some further help, in case you need it.
Don’t you think you deserve to be your dream self?
What habit is keeping you from fully connecting to your sense of self worth? Are you taking on some form of bad behavior that allows you to chastise yourself later for being so weak? Do you keep telling yourself that you’re going to do something, but then get pulled into a Honey Boo Boo marathon? Well, it’s time to put the remote down. You have gotten too used to procrastinating and then beating yourself up for not taking the first steps toward your real goals. Don’t you think you deserve to be your dream self? Your life is worth investing in. So break the cycle of putting your life off and start that “sure, I’ll get to it someday” project today. Just one step, and you’re on the path.
‘Doing doing doing’ isn’t going to get you all of the results you seek.
You have been in the midst of a reinvention, and you’ve made some major changes to your daily life that have the shift in motion. Congrats on taking such brilliant and commendable steps. However, I know that there’s still something missing for you. Some part of you still feels damaged or is unable to move forward with the confidence you need. And ‘doing doing doing’ isn’t going to get you all of the results you seek. It’s time to pause and take a good look in the mirror. Do you still look like the same old you? If so, then change something up to fit the new, more powerful self you’re becoming. If a great transformation is going on inside of you, how are the rest of us supposed to know if you keep showing up in that same old outfit from two years ago? And honestly, how are you truly supposed to ‘get it’ if you keep seeing the same old you when you look in the mirror at yourself? Re-imagine some of your outer self so the inner self in transition can feel fully acknowledged.
There are better ways to gain validation than by making a mess in someone else’s house.
You are probably too familiar with your bad habits. You have analyzed them. Had conversations with them. And sent some packing after a tumultuous love affair. But the ones you need to be concerned with now are the ones you may not even know exist. Or they are the ones that truly haunt you at night, keeping you from a restful sleep. They are those demons that push you into making bad decisions. And let’s face the facts: bad decisions can be fun to make because they get you attention. Not always good attention, but you dear Gemini’s just want to know that someone cares. Well, there are better ways to gain that validation than by making a mess in someone else’s house. Figure out what you’re doing that’s ultimately just meant to get someone to notice you. Really pay attention to yourself. Because you will see that some of the shit you do is just you being on automatic pilot, and that is the stuff that has you making a mistake just to get someone over to help you. Instead, try being mindful enough to help yourself, before the mess occurs.
Stop making your world a hibernation.
Your biggest habit is a hard one to conquer, because it is such an organic part of you. Basically, you are someone who feels most comfortable when you can nest or burrow into your home. Now you can make home a work environment or a friend’s house, but at the end of the day, you like to stay in one place and work from there. And right now, you are beginning to feel a creative revolution – one that will help to define you for the next few years. So there is no room for any distractions. But you have to remember that the outside world and your friends who live there are not distractions. In fact, they are there to help feed the creative imaginings you are so excited about diving into these days. So stop making your world a hibernation. Because ultimately, your goal is to touch the world with your work. And in order to do that well, you have to be in touch with the world so you’ll know what they need.
Now is not the time to be pushing both your career and your home life to the brink.
Are you a workaholic? More so, are you feeling a real urge to hunker down and just be a lion or lioness at home with some cubs? Well, the two are probably true, and they are probably related. Yes, you can pull both off simultaneously. But now is not the time to be pushing both your career and your home life to the brink. The latter really needs the love right now. Yes, you have some great things cooking and you don’t want to lose an opportunity to get your work out into the world. But it will. Just trust. However, without the proper grounding and foundation, you won’t fully be able to blossom. So even if you become rich and famous tomorrow, you will wilt. So make some real commitment to your home life these days and make sure it feels like the stable, secure place you need to properly flourish. That will help to break the habit of making work first and foremost, so you can what you truly need in life to feel recognized and valued.
You need to learn to trust yourself more.
There has been so much going on lately in your home and with family and you have started reconfigure your mind to recognize what really matters. And ultimately, what really matters is what’s right in front of you, whom you love, and how to make the world around you a better place to be. So how can you make greater progress when it comes to actualizing all of these things for your life? Well, start by having more faith in yourself as a spiritual compass for your own life. You Virgo’s always want to analyze and probe before making a decision. But when it comes to your gut instincts, you need to learn to trust yourself more. You have the bad habit of questioning your own ideas to the point of paralysis – no decision is made and nothing moves forward. And that does no one good, because you have a lot to share. So make it a goal to say “Fuck off” to the question mark that comes calling in your head when you’re trying to advance with something. And know that even if you make a mistake, it was for the greater good. How will you ever learn otherwise?
You are the only one who can completely change your life situation.
Saturn has moved out of your sign, giving you a new sense of freedom that you haven’t had for over three years. But in that three years, you have evolved into a better, more structured person who is hopefully happier than before. Or you have fought the change so hard that you feel lost in life and don’t know why things can’t go your way. Either way, graduation has come, and it’s time to commit to the personal transformation you have been putting forth in your life. So you have to own it, ready or not. What you should have attained is the practical knowledge that you are the only one who can stand in your way. You are the only one who can completely change your life situation. You may at times feel at the mercy of others, but no one really holds the power to your life. You do. If you can’t see that, then work desperately on letting go of habitually seeing yourself as a victim. Because that is all that’s going on. And if you have gotten onto that more enlightened path, then use this full moon to let go of that old self. As the Day of the Dead approaches, put your old self to rest so that the new you can fully rise and thrive, free of the past’s baggage.
No more putzing around with people who don’t really matter to you.
You’re at the start of something big. The next three years are going to bring on some major growth, and this week is offering you a taste of what’s to come. Specifically, take a good look at the relationships in your life and get a clearer sense of which ones support you in being your better self. Because it’s those folks that you’re going to truly need during the next incarnation of you. And this isn’t just some little change we’re talking about here. We’re talking about a Saturn influenced change, which has you growing into the responsible adult that you’ve been afraid to truly be. So no more putzing around with people who don’t really matter to you. And no more passively existing in the good relationships you do have. You can’t wait for others to express the commitment that you’re hoping for. It’s time you step up and demand it. A simpler way to begin is by telling the ones you love just how much they mean to you. By offering a meaningful declaration like that, you make others want to give that same emotion back to you.
You have to first admit that you created the life you’re leading.
Your current daily routine is not working for you. It’s become a bad habit you just haven’t been able to break. You may like aspects of how you spend your days, and/or you may love the work you do. But the day-to-day approach is not supporting you in being your best self. Take this last week – there were probably some indications to the fact that this ship is not flowing as smoothly as it should be. All of this has to do with the fact that something is stirring inside of you. There is a deeper shift going on that has you wanting to connect with the quieter, more spiritual side of life. But how is that possible when you’re pushed to the limit from sunrise to sundown? Well you have to first admit that you created the life you’re leading. Now, once you’ve owned that responsibility, you have to then re-train your life to make room for the time you need to go within. And you do need to go within. Because if you don’t get in touch with your core desires and enact a plan to manifest them, you may find yourself stuck on that ship without a say on where it’s going.
Share your work with others and let them get a better taste of the real authentic you.
There is a major transformation going on for you, dear Capricorn. Deep down, there are rumblings of a personal revolution, which could be rather unsettling. You like to stay the course – commit to your plan for long-term goals. But what if the current plan suddenly felt like the wrong one? Would you allow yourself to admit it? Or would you stubbornly stick to it, in quiet fear of seeming weak or uncertain? Knowing your pride, I would say you probably don’t love to ask someone else for guidance. But the truth is, right now, you have a real opportunity to shake things up for yourself in a great way. So how to begin? Well, when was the last time you allowed yourself to be really creative? If you’ve secretly been plugging away at a fun little side project, now is the time to stop that addictive mindset of “it’s just not good enough yet”. You need to share your work with others and let them get a better taste of the real authentic you. And if you haven’t been all that creative these days, well then you are behind. Lock yourself in a room this week and let the creative spirit flow. You need a release – and one that doesn’t come with an instant critique.
Let go of some bad habits in the places you take root.
You should be feeling really fruitful these days, giving birth to new creative ventures and projects in your life. And it should be exciting to be taking ideas out of your imagination and bringing them into reality. Well how stoked would you be if I told you this is just the beginning? That by focusing your creative energy into something positive, you could be planting the seeds for a greater, life purpose shift. Well, a major shift, particularly in your career world, is very much available to you. But you have some work to do before you can really see progress occur. See, without the proper soil as foundation, a plant cannot take root. It can look good for a moment, but ultimately, it will die. So, you need to utilize this full moon energy to let go of some bad habits in the places you take root. Whether most of your time is spent at a place of employment, your house, your car, or on a plane, the way you relate to your most usual surroundings is telling. So take a look around and make sure that your environment is reflecting the person you want to be. Otherwise, you’ll never truly believe yourself to be a success if your personal atmosphere doesn’t emulate that notion.
Rid yourself of the mental babble by making yourself more aware of it.
Most of us allow our minds to be asleep on the job. And the mind is a forceful presence in our lives. It tells us what to think, feel, and either complicates or eases situations with debate and reason. It also tells us what we need when we feel nervous, tired, or sad. And when lazy, the mind will just prescribe us some fast food remedies to our problems. Then we fight with it, because we aren’t sure what’s right and what’s wrong. And let’s face it – unless you’re Buddha on high, you’re debating with yourself at many points throughout the day. It can be a real jungle in there. Thankfully, this full moon has come to help you cut away the mental vegetation covering your path towards personal truth. So rid yourself of the mental babble by making yourself more aware of it. Start by asking who the two people arguing in your head are when there is only one you. Then spend some time deducing, which voice is really connected to your truth and which one is just a product of the ‘gotten used to’ laziness.