Category: Water Signs

How to Have an Emma Thompson Cry, and Deal With the Last Full Moon

What of your emotional past have you been hoarding?

The other day, I had an Emma Thompson moment in the dressing room of a Saks Fifth Avenue outlet store.  If you’ve seen LOVE ACTUALLY, then you have an idea of what I’m referring to.  It’s that moment in the film where she ducks into the bedroom to have a quick, private cry before returning to her family as if nothing is wrong – an emotional dance you assume she has done one too many times.  Well, I didn’t duck in purposefully to have a cry.  But after a long, tiresome day and attempting to fit my post-holiday weight gain butt into some clothes designed for much taller and thinner people than me, I broke down.  Not because I was feeling ugly or fat, but because I was depleted.  I was beaten and tired from my year and hadn’t taken a moment to exhale it all out.  So instead, the moment chose itself, under that horrible, department store lighting.

It was then I recalled that it was the full moon in Cancer that day, so for a Cancer moon like me, it was going to be a day of harsh, emotional challenge.  And I had to release it out.  However, later that day, after some further retrospection, I realized that the full moon was actually about releasing more than some tears.  See, this was not the first time I had been the star of a dressing room cry.  But I had to work a little bit harder to make it my last.

It’s important to throw things out and start anew

The Cancer full moon is all about releasing your past.  You see, in general, Cancers are all about collecting the past, and they do a good job of utilizing what they gather as they move forward in life.  But it can also be easy for a Cancer to hold onto the past in a way that is unhealthy.  I’d imagine that the first hoarder was probably a Cancer.  Some cave man or woman just rolling a ridiculous amount of stones into the home cave, storing them for some event that would never happen.  So this past full moon was well timed with the New Year.  You may have found yourself wanting to be rid of unnecessary clutter.  And it’s important to throw things out and start anew.  But the greatest place to take stock is inside of your self.  What of your emotional past have you been hoarding?

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It’s Time for Some YOU Realness.

As we gear up for the end of the year (or to some, what could be the end of the world), it’s best to take assessment of where we’re at with ourselves.  And more importantly, where we seek change and who can best help us to attain it.  Because for the most part, that’s what we’re all feeling now – a need to make change somewhere in our lives.  And this feeling is coming from the gut, up.  I get more into this, and offer a more specific assessment on my thoughts for the 2012/2013 shift in an interview I did for my friend Drew’s website, Open Doorway Reflections (http://www.opendoorwayreflections.com/?p=50).  But for now, I want to remind each of you reading this that you must not ignore whatever call is coming up inside of you at this time.  And if you’re not entirely feeling something yet, give it ten days.  That’s when the Sun will meet Pluto in Capricorn, and we will all be activated to look at the bigger picture of our lives.  Yes, it’s the end of the year and we all start to go through that process around this time of the year.  But right now, it means more than ever.  So don’t ignore it.

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OLD HABITS DIE NOW

Anxiety found its way to me at a very early age.

I have no idea when I started biting my nails.  I must have been around 7 or 8 when my dad would yell at me from the couch as I sat four feet away from the TV set, just gnawing on my hand.  It sounds like anxiety found its way to me at a very early age.  Chewing my nails was a way to deal with the pent up energy.  And it still is, I guess.  What can I say: I have a lot of spirit running through me at all times.

Today as I was driving on a grocery run, I started to bite my nail.  I immediately became present with what I was doing and pulled my hand away.  As I continued to drive, it dawned on me that I have been partaking in this particular bad habit for almost thirty years.  Thirty years of behavior that my young child self started while mindlessly staring at The Cosby Show.  And here I am.  A grown ass man, still mindless.  So what the hell has kept me stuck in this juvenile routine for so many years?  I think it’s probably a product of my fearful upbringing, coupled with a problem relaxing.  But it ain’t doing me any good now.

We must free ourselves from the habits that keep us from actualizing our best selves. 

You may think that a habit like nail biting isn’t a big deal.  Gross, yes.  But is it destructive?  On the surface, no.  But in truth, when it comes to certain stressful situations, I am still that scared, nervous little boy.  And in my adult life, when dealing in business or with a client, people don’t want to see some scared little boy in front of them.  They want to see a confident, capable man.  And that is who I want to be.  But holding onto some childish activity just lets me keep one foot in the doorway to adolescence, and that’s a problem.  Because then I am not fully taking responsibility for the present moment, and I am ultimately expressing fear about being a fully realized adult.  I’m keeping myself from truly living as me.

Well, it’s time to let go.

This week’s full moon in Taurus wants you to get real.

We all have our vices, addictions, and areas of life where bad decision-making reigns, but the planets currently have a grander plan in mind for the sum of us.  We must free ourselves from the habits that keep us from actualizing our best selves.  This week’s full moon in Taurus wants you to get real and see that by holding onto a habit, you’re not giving yourself the complete commitment you deserve.  More so, it wants you to get to the root of your apprehension to going all in on yourself.  In order to be the greatest expression of yourself, you have to be dedicated to the dream you have for your life.  It is when you strive for that dream that you activate the scenarios and relationships that will take you to the next level of your existence.

So what nasty habits are keeping you from making that ultimate commitment – the one that would have you dazzling at the change you’ve made for your life?  Look at your life and choose one habit that is keeping you from actualizing the next, best version of you.  Now, that is not to say that the ‘you’ now isn’t good enough.  But the ‘you’ now probably isn’t taking full advantage of the gifts you have nor is it fulfilling the true purpose you see for yourself.  So look deep and see where in your life you could stand to let go of an old way of being.

Here’s some further help, in case you need it.

Continue reading “OLD HABITS DIE NOW” →

Are You Walking with a Ghost?

Are you going to recognize the change and live it, or will you be a ghost in your own life?

Recently, I was at the gym, working on my fitness and pondering the various questions of my life.  I was thinking about work, about my health, and about my need to make some important mentality shifts.  I had already been in the headspace of change, as I had been thinking about Pluto and Saturn and the recent moves they had each made.  And given that these planets are all about transformation in our lives, I knew that I was in the midst of metamorphosis.  So as I finished up my tricep pushdowns and moved over to a back machine, all of my mental lingering led me to a sudden thought that I was compelled to jot down.  I quickly pulled out my phone and used my ‘Notes’ feature to write out the following:

“It’s time to commit to the transformation.  There is no turning back.  Turning back doesn’t even equal death because the death has already occurred.  The change is in place.  Are you going to recognize the change and live it, or will you be a ghost in your own life?”

I was immediately struck by the idea of being “a ghost in your own life”.  I thought of how so many of us refuse to meet a change, or death, in life.  Whether it’s the end of a relationship or the loss of a loved one or even growing up into an adult, we can all find it hard to let go and move on at times.  But still, life moves on without us.  Yet we remain stuck in our outdated beliefs and mentalities.  And like ghosts, we wander through our present day lives responding from a place, a feeling, of the past.  The pain of long ago haunts our current relationships and work lives, making for weighted, poor decision making.  And then we wonder why we’re unhappy.  Why things won’t change and get better.  Well, until we realize that we are producing our current reality from a place of pain – one that has been festering in our psyches for far too long – we won’t be able to fully and cleanly move into the next chapter of our lives.  And right now, we are all feeling the ache to manifest change in a major way.  That’s because Saturn is knocking at our door and Pluto is rumbling under our feet.

As Rupaul says, “The time has come for you to lip-sync.  For your life.”  So let’s get to it.

What does this new phase bring for you?

Continue reading “Are You Walking with a Ghost?” →

This Full Moon in Aries Means Business

Who the hell doesn’t need to exhale right now? 

Last night as we were getting ready for bed, my boyfriend the Aquarius muttered sleepily, “This week has just flown by.”  Sure, this is something we all say or hear time and again, but when I paused to really take in his statement, I realized that the week truly had for me.  But, it was really because the week had been chock full of business and life and communication.  And transformation.  Yes, Pluto’s shift out of retrograde has definitely urged the energy forward in a massive way.  Change is, by all means, afoot.  And she is taking no prisoners.  This energetic twitch has built us all up to this weekend’s full moon in Aries, a time of release.  And who the hell doesn’t need to exhale right now?  But with Aries around us, it ain’t gonna be easy to, as Whitney called it, shoop.

I feel like we’re all barreling toward some sort of goal or hoped for outcome right now, and Aries only amplifies that.  Yet, as I said, a full moon is a time to let go of everything that’s been building up these last few weeks.  It’s not necessarily the cool down in a workout, but more so the halfway point, when we pause for a nice sip of water and a few breaths to help us collect ourselves.  Yes, we all feel the need to accomplish something – especially during the crazy swelling period of 2012 energy. Some of us are moving methodically ahead, paying attention to the signs and road posts helping to guide us to our destination.  However, others of us have been pushing ahead without much awareness of the world around us, so perhaps we are feeling a bit overwhelmed by the transition occurring in our worlds.  Or taken by surprise when change finds her way to our doorstep.  Either way, we need to take this important moment to release the tension we have recently collected.  Now how does Aries best do that?

If there is ever a time to be blowing off steam, this is the time do so – that is if you need to.  If you have been walking slowly while everyone else has been in fast motion, you may just have an opportunity now to access more creativity than you have in a while.

Let’s take a quick look at how you can harness this Aries full moon for good:

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What Mercury Taught Me (And Maybe You Too)

Stop looking at what’s going wrong long enough to see the gift’s that are being offered to you at this time

From July 14th to August 8th, Mercury sat in retrograde.  As I’ve mentioned before, I always look at Mercury Retrograde as a time to pause and reflect, renew, remember.  Yes, Mercury in retrograde also represents a time when communication breaks down.  Computers mess up, phone service sucks more than usual, and your TiVo forgets to record the season finale of Dance Moms.  But I don’t like to focus on the negative.  All of that shit is just going to happen anyway.  In fact, it’s going to happen any time of the year too.  Mercury being in retrograde only amplifies its effects.  So what kind of good can come out of a time that most associate with personal chaos and disaster?  A lot!  You just have to stop looking at what’s going wrong long enough to see the gift’s that are being offered to you at this time.  Gifts, you say?  “I ain’t seen no fucking gifts in the last few weeks, Angel.  You crazy.”  Well yes, I am.  But still, hear me out.

Continue reading “What Mercury Taught Me (And Maybe You Too)” →

It’s a full moon in Aquarius. What about it?

I bet you woke up this am thinking, “I am totally going to be my highest inspired self today”

I can’t even remember how long it has been since I sat down to write an astro blog.  Sure, I know the last date I posted something and I have gone back to recount old postings of mine, however the actual act of tapping astrological musings onto the keyboard is an old, sorely missed friend.  So I am here today to create and release something new out into the world.  Because today is the full moon in Aquarius, the energies of which allow us to release expressions of our highest inspired selves out into the world.  Sure, a completely easy task to take on.  I bet you woke up this am thinking, “I am totally going to be my highest inspired self today”, and then popped on some Pink songs, put on your cutest shoes, and kissed the daylight with your most confident hello.  Okay, maybe that was just me.  And in all reality, I was only half as energetic as that picture I just painted.  But I did leave my house knowing that I had to reconnect to that part of me that feels the most creative and awake.

So here I am.

“What finally convinced me to go ahead was simply that I was so unhappy not going ahead.” – Steven Pressfield

A full moon is all about a release of energy.  It’s not exactly the end, but it’s more like that moment where you throw all your cards on table and see how the rest of the game shakes out.  I feel like a lot of people I’ve encountered lately have felt a sense of “something’s gotta give.”  The toils of reality play a huge part, but in the context of astrology, we’ve also had that little friend, Mercury Retrograde, at play.  As many of you know, this is when communication breaks down and your computer has the hiccups or your Directv didn’t record the latest episode of The Bachelor Pad, or you find out that you accidently left a message on your friend’s voicemail calling her a skank.  Those who know my astrology and me know that I see it more as a time to slow down and take stock of where you’re at and what you’re thinking about.  Lot’s of “Re” things need to go on.  Regroup.  Reimagine.  Reconnect.  Renew.  And it’s in the sign of Leo, which means it’s about remembering to cast yourself as the star of your show.  Something many of us forget to do.  So how is everything in your life working for the greater good of you?  Or is it not?  Do you need to rethink some things that aren’t allowing you to live your most fulfilled life?

This Aquarius full moon is an opportunity to connect to your dreams and release that more inspired you out into the world.  So let’s look at all the signs and get to it!

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So. It’s a new moon in Scorpio. What about it?

Ready or not, Scorpio is here.

I woke up this morning to the sound of rain trickling down against the pavement outside my apartment.  As boyfriend, pup, and I stirred against the 6:30 am wake-up call, I found myself drifting amongst the scattered images of my just-concluded dreams.  The visuals were so clear that they almost felt like memories of real instances.  I honestly had to pause and deduce whether I had just walked the dog or not, while he was carrying his own umbrella.  As I let reality sink in and focused my eyes on the still dark room, I felt a haze drift over me.  It was cool and rainy out.  My little family and I were all snuggles under the covers.  I thought, fuck the gym.  I can sleep some more.  The pact that the Aquarius and I had made the night before to shake each other awake seemed void when the snooze button was hit.  Ah, sweet dreams, round two.  Well, all that laziness was put to an end when the man shoved the covers off and jumped out of bed.  In a flash, he was in gym clothes and ready to hit the door.  I didn’t have time to truly reflect on his commitment.  All I could do was respond.  I jumped up too and got the day going.  There wasn’t room for a Libra-like response: somewhat wishy-washy or indecisive.  I could’ve stayed there, scratching the puppy’s belly and pondering the pros and cons of missing my date with the elliptical.  But there was an underlying urge once my feet touched the ground to get the ball rolling.  Ready or not, Scorpio is here.  And for some of us, it’s here just in the nick of time.

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So. It’s a full moon in Aries. What about it?

As my boyfriend, The Aquarius, and I were walking through the quiet, charming community where his mother lives, we stared up to the vast sky and took in the burgeoning moon.  I wondered aloud what this upcoming Aries full moon would be about.  Thankfully, I’m graced with a man who totally gets it and has not just an interest but also an understanding of the way the cosmos operate.  So we talked it out and hypothesized, all while taking into deep consideration that a full moon brings the need for release while the Aries nature is all go-go-go and interested in new beginnings.  We came to some conclusions, but I still didn’t feel like I completely comprehended its message.  I blame the wine.

Later, I continued pondering this interesting dichotomy and tried to apply it to my own life.  Being an Aries, I am greatly in touch with the fact that we, as a Zodiac race, like to start something new before finishing up the last thing.  In fact, I was in the middle of reading something that I am desperate to get through when I received the inspiration to start writing this piece.  What are you gonna do, huh?  Anyhow, an Aries full moon is a time then when we must resist the urge to begin some new direction, project, or task.  Instead, we need to place our focus onto the thing we have been working so tirelessly at pushing up the hill to completion.  Whether it is the quest for a new home, job, or pair of shoes to go with that new jacket you got at the outlet mall, you can’t give up too easily, especially when you have come so far and invested so much time and energy into it.  So how do we know what part of our story needs a proper conclusion during this full moon?

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So. It’s a new moon in Libra. What about it?

How do we create a life that feels completely balanced and more our own?  

When you take a look at how you spend your time, it can be extremely eye-opening.  I’m talking like breaking it down into a percentage.  Most people spend a third of their day working.  Now if you take away about another third of that for sleep, you’re left with one third of the day for yourself.  Now that doesn’t include whatever commuting you need to deal with, as well as the basics of eating, getting ready, etc.  So then how do we spend those few precious hours that are all our own?  Well, there are movies and TV to watch and things to buy and websites to browse and phone calls to make and gym routines to do.  You get my drift.  It’s fucking hard to balance everything out.  My tired eyes are proof.

I believe that one should live a full life, but it’s challenging when you work so hard to get everything you want in and still feel like you haven’t accomplished much at all.  Maybe I’m an over-achiever in that I have a million aspirations.  Or I am just so good at piling a billion things onto my plate that I ultimately just keep myself from giving my all to any one thing.  Well, either way, I’m struggling to find balance in my life.  I do my best to wake up and get in some ‘me time’ before I have to get into the car and drive to the office.  But there is so much I want to do for ‘me’ that a couple of hours before work barely cuts it.  I want to meditate.  I want to write.  I want to read.  I want to work out.  I want to play with and walk the dog.  I want to cuddle with my boyfriend.  It’s so much to try and split into tiny little pockets of time before my long day of work actually begins.  Sometimes, I think that I need to better organize it all, or I need to get up at 5:45 instead of 6:45.  But then my brain will be so slow from the lack of sleep.  What to do?  It’s a major frustration and one that I know I’m not alone in facing.

So what do we do?  How do we create a life for ourselves that feels completely balanced and more our own?

Continue reading “So. It’s a new moon in Libra. What about it?” →