That Scorpio Full Moon When You Learned to Really Live

Live from a place of complete honesty and integrity

So, these last few weeks have been a trip, in the best way. It started with a birthday that made me go, “Whoa middle-age-ish.” But that also hit me in the best way. I felt a fire lit beneath me and gained a sense of greater excitement for the life I’m living. I reconnected to old friends who I desperately need in my life. I followed paths by the compass of my true self, and not by the flashlight of fear. I tried, with my whole heart, to be my best self in ways that I haven’t in some time. I became more present to me. I credit a good amount of it to an amazing reader, Sabrina (http://www.sabrinapureofheart.com/sabrina), who helped to connect me to distant pieces of myself, looking for retrieval. Please go to her if you’re in need of the same. But I also credit myself, for learning to be open to the unknown and not being so scared anymore.

Why do I share all of this with you? Well because it’s the Full Moon in Scorpio. And this full moon is about putting your love to the test. And my love is in helping you, my dear readers, to get completely in touch with your highest self. To live from a place of complete honesty and integrity. To just be so damn proud of you when you look in the mirror because you’re finally not doing that same shit anymore that always leaves you feeling failure-ish and sad. I share my deepest shit so that you can feel more comfortable with yours.

So find a way to take all the changes and ideas and deepest, silent thoughts you’ve been stewing over and live them out in your life. Show people a newer version of you, sprung from your own ideas of who you want to be, and should be. Don’t fuck around anymore.

You have one life. So live it.

I’m gonna give you some words from my House Mother, Madonna. Because she and Oprah co-govern the land of living your shit out loud. And her new album, Rebel Heart, goes IN.

If you don’t have it, get it now. (https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rebel-heart/id953710965)

“If you try and fail, get up again
Destiny will choose you in the end
If you don’t make the choice
And you don’t use your voice
Someone else will speak for you instead
What you want is just within your reach
But you gotta practice what you preach
You pay with sweat and tears
And overcome your fears
Never let the fire inside you leave.”

Now here is a brief, closer look at all the signs:

Continue reading “That Scorpio Full Moon When You Learned to Really Live” →

Your Rebirth is Now

group-Flying-butterflies2

Just see the new you emerging and dive into the wave of it

My plan this morning was to wake up early and channel the Scorpio new moon’s energy to write one of my usual posts on it. However, Uranus, the ruler of surprise, was directly involved in my personal new moon and where it fell in my chart, so it brought on an unexpected turn of events. I awoke to some messages that a relative had gone into the hospital and was not doing very well. After speaking to my parents, it was revealed that he would probably not make it for much longer. Though not incredibly close to him, I knew it was important for me to go and be with my family. Thus my afternoon of writing turned into a day in the hospital, feeling grief and sadness. In a way, it was actually an experience suited to the Scorpio new moon as it was literally about the sign’s greatest marker. Death. But it also allowed me to spend some very intimate time with the people I love most dearly in life, and to see the other important element of Scorpio. Rebirth.

My family and I are not the same people we were a decade or two ago. Once divided by pain, anger, and addiction, we have since transformed into a clan that now puts love first. Sure, we still have some collective healing to do, but we have truly evolved in a remarkably positive way. However, our family’s rebirth hasn’t kept me from still reacting to them from those old feelings of pain or anger. At times, it would be like the twelve year old me was in the room again, feeling all of the same emotions that tore him up inside so many years ago. And then I would be frustrated at myself for still holding onto the past in such an emotional way. It was a vicious cycle.

Today though, I saw that I was able to engage them without feeling any of the old childhood crap at my feet. The young me wasn’t even in the room. Instead, today I was just present as the man I am now. I guess you could say that seeing another man at death’s door will force you into the moment. I have also been experiencing a pretty powerful inner shift leading up to today. The old elements of me that no longer belong have been seriously put on trial as of late. And I think today’s experience helped them to get their final sentencing. I also know I’m not the only one feeling this inner urge to shift and evolve.

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I’m So Over Mercury Retrograde

It’s now become synonymous with the general state of things just going into “all fucked-up” mode

You’ve probably seen it in your Facebook newsfeed or overheard it in the kitchen at work. Or perhaps you yourself have uttered it out loud. “Mercury is in retrograde”. It’s now become synonymous with the general state of things just going into “all fucked-up” mode. Yes, it does signify a time when computers go all bonkers and important pieces of work don’t save properly or disappear all together. Mercury does rule communication. So Mercury was probably looking the other way when Carrie Bradshaw’s Mac got the “sad face”, and she learned the harsh rule of needing to back up her work. Hell, even I was hit with the device breakdown of it all when my Ipod had its recent meltdown (Mercury on Shuffle). But I do think people amplify the effects of this transit by looking for it in everything. A miscommunication occurs. Mercury retrograde. That check gets lost in the mail. Mercury retrograde. An entire bag of chocolate chip cookies finds its way into your house and then into your belly, all in one night. Mercury retrograde. Sure, its hazy ways can confuse or complicate things. But the point of it isn’t to just make your life harder, or to assign it blame when something seemingly goes wrong. In fact, Mercury and its current retrograde have some important business for you to attend to at this time.

So what’s the deal, Mercury?

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The Idea of You and a New Moon in Libra

What’s the idea you have for yourself?

A few weeks ago, I got back from Minnesota where I was working as a producer on a feature film. This is the first time that I have worked in this capacity on a movie, and the actual production process was rewarding, exhausting, and one of the most challenging experiences of my life. And the hours were simply not cute. Actually, neither was I after a couple days of it. But my greatest struggle wasn’t sleep deprivation or maintaining my girlish figure amidst the tables of craft service. Those were easy to manage in comparison to dealing with the internal question mark that arose over myself as the shoot wore on.

I went into this filming process thinking I had a pretty clear idea of myself. I’m a 36-year-old man. I got issues, but I know who I am. However, through this journey, I was forced to question the ideas of me I had in place time and again. For instance, I thought I was entirely compassionate when I’m actually a bit of a shady bitch. My thought that I was cautious in my decision making actually read to others as uncertain and lacking in confidence. And I saw that questioning my instincts was a constant epidemic of my mind, and it never lead to anything but disappointment. Mostly, I realized that one shouldn’t just sit idly by, waiting on a ship to come in. With that, all you do is grow old on some dock, watching as others go on about their lives.

When heavy trouble would arise on set, my go-to would be to just sit and observe. Someone smarter would come along and handle. But that mentality does nothing for one’s personal growth. And sometimes, I am that someone smarter. So I had to push myself to get involved. No one was going to ask my opinion. I had to force others to hear my voice. Thus, I forced myself to hear my own voice and acknowledge it. And that was something, with the exception of this blog, I had subtly squashed and put into submission as of late.

If we can’t see ourselves fresh every day, then we’re not giving ourselves the opportunity to truly evolve.

All this has allowed for a new me to emerge. I’m bolder. I’m more confident. And I’m less afraid to speak up about what I feel with the fear of rejection hanging over me. But this shift isn’t just about my actions. It’s about mentality. It’s about changing the idea I have of me. This is a perfect kind of realization for the astrological climate around this new moon in Libra.

What’s the idea you have for yourself? For one, there’s a sense of how we think we come across to others, which is usually a sharp difference from the actual truth. We can also identify ourselves too much around a job, a relationship, or even our gender or sexual identity. And sometimes, we labor to craft the perfect idea of what we think our lives should be. We know the career we want or would excel at if we weren’t stuck in the one we were currently in, and we think it’s just a matter of time before the boss notices or the Universe opens the door to the right opportunity. But really, that’s all bullshit. If we can’t see ourselves fresh every day, then we’re not giving ourselves the opportunity to truly evolve. We then can’t relate to others from an honest place. And we rob ourselves of growth and attaining a true balance within which is really all Libra wants us to do.

The process of finding your balance can be wobbly at times, so it requires movement.

Libra craves and creates balance, especially in relationships with others. But as people, we can only project a peaceful equilibrium and attract those who have one if we truly feel it inside. Right now, the planets want us to meet a new idea for ourselves. We need to be honest about what we’re looking for in our lives and stop letting our circumstances dictate what we feel, think, and do. Each of us is a unique being with a set of lessons to take on. So take a look at your life. Are you connecting and activating your specific life plan, or are you just responding to the world and events around you? If you’re not being active in the process, then you’re not achieving balance. The process of finding your balance can be wobbly at times, so it requires movement. Like in yoga, we must fall down when trying to hold a pose to fully know the strength and power of its opposition: complete stillness.

Let’s look more specifically at the signs and how this can be playing out for you:

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Can You Please Just Trust Yourself Already?

The Scorpio Full Moon teaches us that we have to let go of emotional control and trust that what we want is already in the process of being manifested

I’m sorry to be so late in the game with my Full Moon piece. I have spent the last week in New York City at work on the movie that I am helping to produce. I was also able to visit some old friends who I hadn’t seen in a while. And most importantly, I was able to reconnect with a city that I left almost ten years ago to pursue a new life and some bigger dreams in Los Angeles. On my last night in Brooklyn, I was able to stand on a rooftop overlooking Manhattan, and I was struck with the enormity of it. And I was struck with the fact that I lived there. A young man with barely any money and no job, I had moved there in my early twenties to follow the lifelong goal to live in New York City. And I did it. In that moment of remembrance, I was able to recognize the strength and determination that dwells within me. But I sometimes lose sight of it and feel afraid or apprehensive. This trip gave me the gift of hindsight and allowed me to see all of the man that I am. There, on that building rooftop in Dumbo, I was able to see the fearless man that I can be, and I was able to let go of some of the timid man I had become. A piece of me had come home, and just in time for the Scorpio Full Moon.

The Scorpio Full Moon teaches us that we have to let go of emotional control and trust that what we want is already in the process of being manifested. We may have fears around some of the things going on in our lives. A lot of us are being asked to step up and accept more responsibility for our selves and our life choices. And this full moon is amplifying that, as our souls are continuing their push towards maturity and growth. If we are able to trust our intuition and let our purest inner voice guide us, we then can really see the fruits of our greatest dreams start to emerge on the tree of life. And I know we all want that. But in order to truly get the dreams fulfilled, we have to believe wholeheartedly that they can. We have to let go and trust.

Be one who originates positivity and change in your life

The ideas for all the changes you want to take root are still emerging, and those projects you want to bring into full light are still immersed in a lot more discussion that you would like. But this is the test. We all must be willing to do the mental and physical work toward manifesting a goal with the belief that everything we want will work out. If we can’t allow that faith inside and instill it into the work we’re doing, we will instead work from a place of fear. And that will only cause us to destroy everything we have worked toward up until this point. So don’t be one of the destroyers. Be one who originates positivity and change in your life. Have faith in yourself and what you want. That is the only way to succeed.

This Full Moon is also an eclipse, which in astrology means that the energy of it intensifies over the next couple of weeks as we head to the new moon in Taurus. That one will also come with an eclipse. As Susan Miller calls it, this is an “eclipse season”, as we will then have a third eclipse at the end of May. All this is to say that everything we are trying to put into motion can happen, but it comes at a price. And it’s an internal one. We have to face everything with a strength and grace we may have never seen inside of us before. Or, like me, had forgotten that we already have.

So let go of your preconceived notions of you and invite a greater transformation into your life. I know you can. Here are some quick little capsules of knowledge to better help you do so:

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Are You Walking with a Ghost?

Are you going to recognize the change and live it, or will you be a ghost in your own life?

Recently, I was at the gym, working on my fitness and pondering the various questions of my life. I was thinking about work, about my health, and about my need to make some important mentality shifts. I had already been in the headspace of change, as I had been thinking about Pluto and Saturn and the recent moves they had each made. And given that these planets are all about transformation in our lives, I knew that I was in the midst of metamorphosis. So as I finished up my tricep pushdowns and moved over to a back machine, all of my mental lingering led me to a sudden thought that I was compelled to jot down. I quickly pulled out my phone and used my ‘Notes’ feature to write out the following:

“It’s time to commit to the transformation. There is no turning back. Turning back doesn’t even equal death because the death has already occurred. The change is in place. Are you going to recognize the change and live it, or will you be a ghost in your own life?”

I was immediately struck by the idea of being “a ghost in your own life”. I thought of how so many of us refuse to meet a change, or death, in life. Whether it’s the end of a relationship or the loss of a loved one or even growing up into an adult, we can all find it hard to let go and move on at times. But still, life moves on without us. Yet we remain stuck in our outdated beliefs and mentalities. And like ghosts, we wander through our present day lives responding from a place, a feeling, of the past. The pain of long ago haunts our current relationships and work lives, making for weighted, poor decision making. And then we wonder why we’re unhappy. Why things won’t change and get better. Well, until we realize that we are producing our current reality from a place of pain – one that has been festering in our psyches for far too long – we won’t be able to fully and cleanly move into the next chapter of our lives. And right now, we are all feeling the ache to manifest change in a major way. That’s because Saturn is knocking at our door and Pluto is rumbling under our feet.

As Rupaul says, “The time has come for you to lip-sync. For your life.” So let’s get to it.

What does this new phase bring for you?

Continue reading “Are You Walking with a Ghost?” →

ASTROLOGY REALNESS

Giving you just that

Tag: Scorpio