You Are Your Greatest Love of All

What does it take to fully learn to love ourselves?

I can’t even imagine how many times my family had to listen to Greatest Love of All blasting from my room during the mid 80’s. It was usually accompanied by my own belted out vocals, though sometimes I would just give it a hearty lip-sync. Either way, it was quite an anthem for the 8 year old chubby, insecure, gay-in-training me. As we all know, Whitney had a way of singing a song as if it were truth in a religious sense. So there was something about her and that song and its slightly confusing but ultimately empowering lyrics that would take me away from my uncertainties and guilty feelings of being too different than everyone else. It would take me away from feeling alone. And as I’ve grown, I have realized that I actually wasn’t alone then. There were others of us out there, in our bedrooms behind closed doors, visioning ourselves onto a stage in front of millions, singing of our decision to never walk in anyone’s shadow. But when the door opened, it was back to hiding the truth and diminishing one’s sense of self-love. So what does it actually take to completely live that way? What does it take to fully learn to love ourselves?

This Valentine’s Day happens to also land on the Full Moon in Leo, which is quite a bang up combo. V Day is obviously all about expressing the love you have for those you care about most in life. However, the Leo Full Moon is actually more connected with loving all the things that are specifically “You” and releasing them onto the world. So yes, today is a time to do for others and show your love. But more importantly, you must use this full moon energy to show yourself the love that you deserve. Especially since we have Mercury in retrograde right now, which is an opportunity for us all to be reconsidering our personal uniqueness. So consider if you have allowed yourself to stifle your distinct truth, whether in your home or job or in your relationships.

You can be you, without fear.

Are you living a life behind closed doors, or more so locked inside of your mind, when you should be on the stage of your life for the world to see? Know that now is an easy time to let the power of others cloud your own needs. So use this time to get clear about what matters most to you and let the important people know exactly who you are, even if it will surprise them. Connect to your most creative self and remember that you are co-authoring this life with the Universe. You can make decisions. You can be you, without fear. You can blast Greatest Love of All at the highest volume and sing with the windows down. If that’s your truth, then you better own it. Or else, you will just end up living some quiet, status quo life. And you wouldn’t be called to read this if that was the kind of life that was meant for you.

So find your strength in love and let’s go.

Here are some more specific ways to address this Leo Full Moon:

Continue reading “You Are Your Greatest Love of All” →

Your Rebirth is Now

group-Flying-butterflies2

Just see the new you emerging and dive into the wave of it

My plan this morning was to wake up early and channel the Scorpio new moon’s energy to write one of my usual posts on it. However, Uranus, the ruler of surprise, was directly involved in my personal new moon and where it fell in my chart, so it brought on an unexpected turn of events. I awoke to some messages that a relative had gone into the hospital and was not doing very well. After speaking to my parents, it was revealed that he would probably not make it for much longer. Though not incredibly close to him, I knew it was important for me to go and be with my family. Thus my afternoon of writing turned into a day in the hospital, feeling grief and sadness. In a way, it was actually an experience suited to the Scorpio new moon as it was literally about the sign’s greatest marker. Death. But it also allowed me to spend some very intimate time with the people I love most dearly in life, and to see the other important element of Scorpio. Rebirth.

My family and I are not the same people we were a decade or two ago. Once divided by pain, anger, and addiction, we have since transformed into a clan that now puts love first. Sure, we still have some collective healing to do, but we have truly evolved in a remarkably positive way. However, our family’s rebirth hasn’t kept me from still reacting to them from those old feelings of pain or anger. At times, it would be like the twelve year old me was in the room again, feeling all of the same emotions that tore him up inside so many years ago. And then I would be frustrated at myself for still holding onto the past in such an emotional way. It was a vicious cycle.

Today though, I saw that I was able to engage them without feeling any of the old childhood crap at my feet. The young me wasn’t even in the room. Instead, today I was just present as the man I am now. I guess you could say that seeing another man at death’s door will force you into the moment. I have also been experiencing a pretty powerful inner shift leading up to today. The old elements of me that no longer belong have been seriously put on trial as of late. And I think today’s experience helped them to get their final sentencing. I also know I’m not the only one feeling this inner urge to shift and evolve.

Continue reading “Your Rebirth is Now” →

The Idea of You and a New Moon in Libra

What’s the idea you have for yourself?

A few weeks ago, I got back from Minnesota where I was working as a producer on a feature film. This is the first time that I have worked in this capacity on a movie, and the actual production process was rewarding, exhausting, and one of the most challenging experiences of my life. And the hours were simply not cute. Actually, neither was I after a couple days of it. But my greatest struggle wasn’t sleep deprivation or maintaining my girlish figure amidst the tables of craft service. Those were easy to manage in comparison to dealing with the internal question mark that arose over myself as the shoot wore on.

I went into this filming process thinking I had a pretty clear idea of myself. I’m a 36-year-old man. I got issues, but I know who I am. However, through this journey, I was forced to question the ideas of me I had in place time and again. For instance, I thought I was entirely compassionate when I’m actually a bit of a shady bitch. My thought that I was cautious in my decision making actually read to others as uncertain and lacking in confidence. And I saw that questioning my instincts was a constant epidemic of my mind, and it never lead to anything but disappointment. Mostly, I realized that one shouldn’t just sit idly by, waiting on a ship to come in. With that, all you do is grow old on some dock, watching as others go on about their lives.

When heavy trouble would arise on set, my go-to would be to just sit and observe. Someone smarter would come along and handle. But that mentality does nothing for one’s personal growth. And sometimes, I am that someone smarter. So I had to push myself to get involved. No one was going to ask my opinion. I had to force others to hear my voice. Thus, I forced myself to hear my own voice and acknowledge it. And that was something, with the exception of this blog, I had subtly squashed and put into submission as of late.

If we can’t see ourselves fresh every day, then we’re not giving ourselves the opportunity to truly evolve.

All this has allowed for a new me to emerge. I’m bolder. I’m more confident. And I’m less afraid to speak up about what I feel with the fear of rejection hanging over me. But this shift isn’t just about my actions. It’s about mentality. It’s about changing the idea I have of me. This is a perfect kind of realization for the astrological climate around this new moon in Libra.

What’s the idea you have for yourself? For one, there’s a sense of how we think we come across to others, which is usually a sharp difference from the actual truth. We can also identify ourselves too much around a job, a relationship, or even our gender or sexual identity. And sometimes, we labor to craft the perfect idea of what we think our lives should be. We know the career we want or would excel at if we weren’t stuck in the one we were currently in, and we think it’s just a matter of time before the boss notices or the Universe opens the door to the right opportunity. But really, that’s all bullshit. If we can’t see ourselves fresh every day, then we’re not giving ourselves the opportunity to truly evolve. We then can’t relate to others from an honest place. And we rob ourselves of growth and attaining a true balance within which is really all Libra wants us to do.

The process of finding your balance can be wobbly at times, so it requires movement.

Libra craves and creates balance, especially in relationships with others. But as people, we can only project a peaceful equilibrium and attract those who have one if we truly feel it inside. Right now, the planets want us to meet a new idea for ourselves. We need to be honest about what we’re looking for in our lives and stop letting our circumstances dictate what we feel, think, and do. Each of us is a unique being with a set of lessons to take on. So take a look at your life. Are you connecting and activating your specific life plan, or are you just responding to the world and events around you? If you’re not being active in the process, then you’re not achieving balance. The process of finding your balance can be wobbly at times, so it requires movement. Like in yoga, we must fall down when trying to hold a pose to fully know the strength and power of its opposition: complete stillness.

Let’s look more specifically at the signs and how this can be playing out for you:

Continue reading “The Idea of You and a New Moon in Libra” →

This New Moon Is So All About You

If you don’t feel worthy of applause, then you ultimately keep it from your life

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of doing an afternoon of readings for a lovely group of people. One of them was a double Leo, which means there was a strong need for recognition and approval within her. Of course, there was also a ton of creativity present, but the fact that she hadn’t gotten enough of it out into the world meant that her soul was starving for its time in the spotlight. All Leo’s need it. To some, that drive to be front and center can seem too self-serving. But for Leo, that’s just part of the astrological DNA. So unless one’s being an asshole about it, there’s no reason to shy away from that desire for attention. I stressed to her that there was nothing wrong about wanting to be recognized for her gifts and talents. In fact, for her, it was a must. The only reason she wasn’t allowing it was because of some subconscious notion that it was wrong to desire a spotlight. And that’s all wed to self-worth. Because the truth is, if you don’t feel worthy of applause, then you ultimately keep it from your life.

At the end of my long day, the hostess squeezed my shoulder and said, “You’re really good at this.” I smiled and deflected it with a comment about how great her and her friends were for being so receptive to the readings. She proceeded to say it a couple of more times. “You are really really good at this, Angel.” After about the third time, something clicked. It was as if a voice inside said, “Hear her.” And I did. I finally heard what she was trying to tell me. (See, I also have Leo issues.) In that moment, I connected to my soul’s core and with my whole heart, welcomed her emotional gratitude and recognition of my talent. I deemed myself worthy of her applause. Full of warmth, I smiled and said “Thank you.” I then packed up my things and left her home, feeling so wonderful for the opportunity to share my gifts with others.

Now is the time to shift focus and give yourself the attention you deserve

The Leo New Moon is here, and it wants us to connect with our deeper need to be accepted and loved for who we are and what we have to offer the world around us. To best understand what our greatest gift is, we must look to the thing that brings us our purest joy. Now I’m not talking about that bottle of wine you may suck back after a long day of work. I am talking about that activity or time when pristine, soulful joy rises up and overcomes you. It’s the specific thing that stimulates that place in your heart where creativity and romance lives. And it’s where you need to open yourself up to receiving appreciation and respect.

This also means making yourself vulnerable to your personal truth. Because if you are feeling disrespected or unacknowledged somewhere in your life, that may be Leo showing you that you’re barking up the wrong tree. Your greatest gift is perhaps just lying dormant or is at least being underutilized. If that’s the case, then now is the time to shift focus and give yourself the attention you deserve.

Let’s take a closer look at each sign and see how this could be affecting you:

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That Full Moon When You Dared to be Different

Embrace your uniqueness to a point that you feel uncomfortable

I was very excited and overwhelmed when I found out that we are having two Aquarius full moons this year. It’s not usual to have two full moons in the same sign in one year. But occasionally, the world turns in a way that allows us to catch one at the very beginning and one at the very ending of a sign. Being that I have a number of Aquarius’s in my life, including my mother and the man who I share my life with, I am pretty familiar with their energy. It’s quirky, out-of-the-box, inventive, and a bit unpredictable. In total, this can all translate to being rather exciting or extremely tiring. Thus, the next month or so will be a bit of both. I know, we’re all pretty exhausted from Mercury’s little stint in retrograde. However, this will be a good kind of exhaustion. It’s the kind of exhaustion that will stem from personal productivity toward an important goal rather than just sheer mental worry and confusion, which is something I’m sure all of us could use a break from right now. Especially when that worry is built from trying to please everyone around us.

It’s interesting how much stock we all can put into how others perceive us. We will all make important decisions for our lives based off of what we think other people will think of our choices. Now that is some tiring shit. I mean you’re already worrying about what you want. Then, add the concern of what you think other people will think about what you want, and you’re totally wiped out from the stress of worrying about you and everyone else. Well, Aquarius doesn’t have time for worry. It wants you to embrace your uniqueness to a point that you feel uncomfortable. That way, the thought of how others perceive you will vanish from the equation. Aquarius simply thrives on being completely different from everyone else. So with these two full moons, the rest of this summer is all about the need to own that special something we each possess inside.

Give over to the wave of your own crazy sexy coolness

You have to be okay with showing people who you really are. Some may be shocked by how verbally passionate you seem to suddenly be about an issue or project. Or they may wonder why you’re now deciding to go back to school or take up a seemingly odd hobby. But the great thing is that you have no reason to care about what they think. You are the only one on the path of your internal compass. You are the only one who has to stand accountable to yourself at the end of the day. And you are the only one who is in charge of your personal happiness. So stand in your power and give over to the wave of your own crazy sexy coolness. If you can, it will wash away the bullshit layer you have allowed others to place on your mind, your heart, and your life. And from there, you can start the process of coming clean.

So know that this is a two-parter. Again, we have another Aquarius full moon next month, so you have a lot to release around one aspect of yourself. So start gently and prepare to get real. Let’s take a closer look at how all this could work for you:

Continue reading “That Full Moon When You Dared to be Different” →

Speak the Truth or Get Off the Pot!

This Sagittarius full moon is all about releasing your enlightened truth out into the world

I am writing this from a Hacienda in Spain where my boyfriend and I are traveling for a wedding. At the rehearsal dinner, one of the grooms and I were chatting about the full moon, which will be hitting directly just some hours after he and his partner exchange their vows. “What does it mean?” he asked. “It’s in Sagittarius”, I told him. “Speak the truth.” His eyes got very wide. Later, as I sat on a poolside lounge chair staring up at the rising moon, his partner came over to ask how I was doing. “I heard what you said about the full moon. Speak the truth you said.” I nodded. “That’s all you can do with this one.” He also widened his eyes with the weight of that proposition. Before we could get too much farther into it, we were interrupted and the conversation shifted. But I was left to think that these two want to take this task on. I mean, it’s their wedding. The whole point is to stand up before your family and friends and state the honest to God truth about your feelings for the one you love. And before a gay wedding, there has already been so much “coming clean” that has lead up to the event that the party should be the easy part. (Or at least as easy as any wedding can be.) But being honest is scary. And most times, being honest to others isn’t as hard as being honest to your self.

This Sagittarius full moon is all about releasing your enlightened truth out into the world. Sometimes we speak and think that we are speaking from our truth, but we’re actually not. Instead, what we’re really doing is just talking to get through a situation. We are talking for the sake of it rather than connecting to our more divine self and allowing our words to be guided from that place. See, this full moon wants our spirit’s to be involved which makes honesty even harder to do. Because of the current Gemini energy at play, our brains are also operating at a higher level right now, which means we can sometimes talk ourselves into believing a truth that isn’t entirely the case. So, right now, we must work harder at connecting to our deeper selves so that we can be sure that our hearts and souls are involved along with our minds in making decisions. Because we can make good decisions right now that can lead to sustainable paths for our current goals. Again, it comes down to truth.

Come out of hiding about the truth of who you are

What area in your life needs your utmost truth right now? Perhaps you are covering up the truth with thoughts like “It’s all gonna be alright” or “I’m fine” or “I don’t really believe that, I’m just being silly or fucking around” when you really want to be curling up in a ball and saying “Lord God, help me.” Or you’re just not dealing with it at all and letting booze, drugs, or a fake relationship squash the pain. You could also be facing it but feel that you’re struggling with the challenge. Again, I ask you to turn to truth.

Come out of hiding about the truth of who you are. Don’t be afraid to feel what you feel and speak what you know in your core to be true. Show others the thoughts that exist behind the closed door of your mind. And most importantly, be willing to tell yourself that you accept you with complete and utter love. If you need to be a freak, so be it. If you are afraid your friends won’t get it, fuck them. If you’re partner doesn’t know something about you, share it now. Because like begets like. So enlightenment begets enlightenment. And if you illuminate yourself, then you illuminate your world. The lights on the path go on, and you can see more clearly where you need to go to make your dreams a reality. And you can’t deny the truth of a situation because it is lit up for the whole world to see. Yes, sometimes the truth is scary and painful, but it’s the only way to your personal destiny. And if you’re reading this, I know that your goal is to find that destiny.

Let’s get a more specific sense of where in your life this could be affecting you:

Continue reading “Speak the Truth or Get Off the Pot!” →

It’s Time To Be the Star of Your Own Show

Are you ready for the spotlight of your soulful awakening?

Like most of you, I am looking for a new beginning. But what I have realized is that it’s not going to come in the form of a new job, a move, or a lottery ticket. It is going to come from the inside out, so I must start by shifting how I think and feel about myself. You see, I have been clinging on to pieces of outdated fiction that have structured my internal story, and I am finally able to see them for just that – stories. Simply remnants from the young me that are unwilling to be left behind. Old mentalities. Wicked fears. Childhood regrets and insecurities. I have known of their existence for some time now, but my mind just could not detach. They created a sense of safety, as they had been all I knew. So even when I told myself it was time to let them go, it was just the old me creating a moment of self sabotage. I knew I wouldn’t really be strong enough to detach. Until now.

Given all the intense astrological business that’s been going on these last few months, I have crafted some new habits for myself. They are allowing me to get some distance from the outdated thinking that was holding on for dear life. Sure, there’s always a chance I’ll slip and end up eating a whole chocolate cake to myself, metaphorically speaking. (Mine would be a carrot cake.) But I have to believe that a new beginning is possible, one that I can cease and own. I have to believe in myself. For only from honest self-belief can one be inspired to birth his or her greatness.

Spring is here and the planets want us to move into action in a big way

The Aries new moon is here to illuminate the essence of our truest potential so that we can bring a soul-felt new beginning into existence for ourselves. These last couple of months have been a lot of “who am I?” and “What do I need right now?” moments. Lots of starts that have gotten us closer to our dreams, but then some stops too, which has made it all rather frustrating at times. What we must realize is that there were some much-needed tweaks to our internal selves that needed to occur before we could manifest our goals. Now hopefully you have been doing the internal work to get you more in touch with those necessary shifts you must make. If not, stop reading and get to work. Or just make this new moon all about initiating a more honest relationship with you.

A new cycle is upon us. Spring is here and the planets want us to move into action in a big way. No more daydreaming. As some would say, it’s time to shit or get off the pot. Either we are taking responsibility for the soul transformation into our new unique selves that wants to occur, or we are running away, perhaps never to be heard from again. And you wouldn’t do that, right?

Let this Aries new moon be your opening number

I hear a lot of you feeling this shift – this urge to break out of old patterns (relationships, careers, ways of being) and really bring the real you to light. Well now is “make it or break it” time. And I want to see you succeed. Think of it as if you have been working behind the scenes on the play of your life this whole time, and now it’s time to take center stage. Are you ready for the spotlight of your soulful awakening? Is it time to get out there and give it all you got? Let this Aries new moon be your opening number.

Per usual, here are some more specific thoughts on each sign:

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What About This Monster Full Moon?

This full moon is the catalyst for you to break new ground

I have had a few people ask me to chime in on what astrologer Susan Miller is referring to as next week’s “Monster Moon”, or the Libra Full Moon. The energy of it really starts today and culminates on March 27^th, when a ton of planets will be fully ignited – the Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Uranus, and Pluto. Though it will touch all of us, it’s primarily going to affect a few signs in a major way: Libra, Aries, Capricorn, Cancer, and Gemini – or anyone with natal planets in those signs. So if you are not one of those signs but your rising or moon is, then you’re also going to be feeling all of this quite a bit. Okay, this is probably all sounding like a lot. So let me try and break it down, and then I can get specific on what I think we can all do to best navigate these potentially volatile waters.

First off, we all know a full moon is a time to release some built-up emotional energy – hence the whole idea of letting loose and howling at it. This month, that internal release is coming in the sign of Libra. Generally speaking, it’s time to address the pent-up frustration we have around certain relationships. And it needs to be vocal, since Libra is an air sign and has to have a talk about it. Perhaps there is someone you haven’t been able to completely express yourself to, or with whom you’ve been creating a level of underlying tension. That tension could be good or bad – the boss you want to tell to fuck off or the cute guy you’ve been tiptoeing around with your feelings. Well, this could be the time where you have no choice but to let the truth be heard. Truth is the key word here. We can’t avoid it with this full moon so don’t try to – it will bite you in the ass later.

No more childhood mentalities that cause us to act out as unconscious adults

Now most importantly, we just completed a period where most of the planets traveled through Pisces. These last forty or so days pushed us to connect to our soul’s desires more and urged us to bring certain personal cycles to an end. Though there were certainly projects, relationships, etc that could have found completion at this time, it was really dealing more with our internal situation. We were being asked to say goodbye to some aspects of our inner self that had reached their expiration date. No more shitty childhood mentalities that cause us to act out as unconscious adults. We must now be more aware of our actions and even more so of the motivations behind them. The same should be said for our goals and dreams. Have we been walking a road with our soul for a compass, or have we been using something like a desire to please our family or insecurity around love to guide us?

Thankfully, Mercury is still in that place of soul reflection, so we have some time to address our soul and ask for guidance. We can identify our outdated thinking patterns and give them the boot so that we can each truly heal from a deeper place. So, journal it out. Meditate. Grab a bottle of wine and your best friend so you can just talk about your deepest fears. Anything that gets you closer to the core of what could be holding you back. If you hold these feelings, insecurities, and/or fears inside, then you give them the power to control. And why the fuck should you be giving your power away to your thoughts if they are just covered in cobwebs and trying to sabotage your happiness? It’s time to let go, once and for all. And like, now.

Continue reading “What About This Monster Full Moon?” →

ASTROLOGY REALNESS

Giving you just that

Tag: fear