I’m Fucking Awesome, And So Are You

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This weekend’s full moon in Taurus urges you to connect your sense of self-worth to the life you allow yourself to live

For the first time in almost ten years, I don’t have a full-time job. I have work, which helps to define me. I have astrology. I am a writer. I am helping to produce a film. But at this moment in time, none of these things are currently adding much to my bank account on a consistent basis. Now it has been somewhat liberating. I have been allowed the opportunity to guide myself toward the things I want to focus on. But it has also been as scary as plummeting through a crack in the earth.

When I was leaving my last job back in May, a good Taurus friend who had just been through the process told me that it was going to bring up some things. Fear. Anxiety. And he said to just let them come on. They’re real emotions, and they shouldn’t be ignored. Thankfully, I did have the film project to look forward to, and that came along a few months later in more of a full-time way. But over the last couple of months, my participation in it leveled off some, and I found myself back in the space of “What the fuck”.

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We all have a responsibility to regard ourselves with dignity and delight

Though there has been more time to dive into my creativity and my astrology work, I have been a little beaten up by the ego in the mirror. He has been talking a lot about money and rent and the future. And in a moment of weakness, there was inner talk of needing to find “a real job”. But if I were to cave and go back into the wheel I just recently vacated, I wouldn’t be honoring my spiritual truth. Because I wouldn’t be honoring the gifts I’ve been given and that I should be using for my livelihood. It’s this push toward a greater faith in ourselves that the current astrological climate wants us to recognize and step into

This weekend’s full moon in Taurus urges you to connect your sense of self-worth to the life you allow yourself to live. If you are feeling stuck, then it may be because you don’t truly believe in your abilities. Recognize that your deepest feelings of self-confidence directly reflect your circumstances. That can be hard for some to ingest. “Why would I believe myself into unhappiness?” Well, because underneath it all, you haven’t truly told yourself that you deserve to be happy. And that kind of shit can wedge into your psyche deep, causing you to act out in seemingly childish, unconscious ways. Please know that you will continue to do so until you face the truth of your pain connected to feelings of failure and being less-than what you dreamed you would be. Once you go into all that, then you will truly begin to feel liberated from your ego’s hold.

We all have a responsibility to regard ourselves with dignity and delight. So there is no reason for any of us to waste our lives devoting time toward experiences that lack our passion. Sure, life will hand us ridiculously challenging experiences that are beyond our psyche’s control. But it’s how we then respond to them that defines us. And if we can respond with some sense of self-worth, then we are aiming higher.

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Attach your worth to what’s really in your heart

Now is the time to show ourselves that we deserve to do what we love. If we can offer ourselves that gift, then the Universe will recognize and offer a gift in return. It may not be a million dollars, but it could be! At the very least, it will be some sort of tangible reminder that when you attach your worth to what’s really in your heart, then your actual value in life will go up. That is because you finally deem yourself good enough to receive it.

Let’s take a closer look at the signs to see what area in your life this may be affecting. And remember to check out your rising sign too, if you know it.

Continue reading “I’m Fucking Awesome, And So Are You”

Your Rebirth is Now

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Just see the new you emerging and dive into the wave of it

My plan this morning was to wake up early and channel the Scorpio new moon’s energy to write one of my usual posts on it. However, Uranus, the ruler of surprise, was directly involved in my personal new moon and where it fell in my chart, so it brought on an unexpected turn of events. I awoke to some messages that a relative had gone into the hospital and was not doing very well. After speaking to my parents, it was revealed that he would probably not make it for much longer. Though not incredibly close to him, I knew it was important for me to go and be with my family. Thus my afternoon of writing turned into a day in the hospital, feeling grief and sadness. In a way, it was actually an experience suited to the Scorpio new moon as it was literally about the sign’s greatest marker. Death. But it also allowed me to spend some very intimate time with the people I love most dearly in life, and to see the other important element of Scorpio. Rebirth.

My family and I are not the same people we were a decade or two ago. Once divided by pain, anger, and addiction, we have since transformed into a clan that now puts love first. Sure, we still have some collective healing to do, but we have truly evolved in a remarkably positive way. However, our family’s rebirth hasn’t kept me from still reacting to them from those old feelings of pain or anger. At times, it would be like the twelve year old me was in the room again, feeling all of the same emotions that tore him up inside so many years ago. And then I would be frustrated at myself for still holding onto the past in such an emotional way. It was a vicious cycle.

Today though, I saw that I was able to engage them without feeling any of the old childhood crap at my feet. The young me wasn’t even in the room. Instead, today I was just present as the man I am now. I guess you could say that seeing another man at death’s door will force you into the moment. I have also been experiencing a pretty powerful inner shift leading up to today. The old elements of me that no longer belong have been seriously put on trial as of late. And I think today’s experience helped them to get their final sentencing. I also know I’m not the only one feeling this inner urge to shift and evolve.

Continue reading “Your Rebirth is Now”

I’m So Over Mercury Retrograde

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It’s now become synonymous with the general state of things just going into “all fucked-up” mode

You’ve probably seen it in your Facebook newsfeed or overheard it in the kitchen at work. Or perhaps you yourself have uttered it out loud. “Mercury is in retrograde”. It’s now become synonymous with the general state of things just going into “all fucked-up” mode. Yes, it does signify a time when computers go all bonkers and important pieces of work don’t save properly or disappear all together. Mercury does rule communication. So Mercury was probably looking the other way when Carrie Bradshaw’s Mac got the “sad face”, and she learned the harsh rule of needing to back up her work. Hell, even I was hit with the device breakdown of it all when my Ipod had its recent meltdown (Mercury on Shuffle). But I do think people amplify the effects of this transit by looking for it in everything. A miscommunication occurs. Mercury retrograde. That check gets lost in the mail. Mercury retrograde. An entire bag of chocolate chip cookies finds its way into your house and then into your belly, all in one night. Mercury retrograde. Sure, its hazy ways can confuse or complicate things. But the point of it isn’t to just make your life harder, or to assign it blame when something seemingly goes wrong. In fact, Mercury and its current retrograde have some important business for you to attend to at this time.

Carrie

So what’s the deal, Mercury?

Continue reading “I’m So Over Mercury Retrograde”

Wine, A Bath, and The New Moon in Cancer

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Cancer wants us to nurture ourselves so that we can move through our current life situations with a renewed sense of emotional calm and security

In preparing myself to write on this new moon in Cancer, I decided to kick back and relax with a glass of wine and a bath.  My boyfriend, the Aquarius, is traveling in Europe with family, and he was concerned that while home alone, I wasn’t taking care of myself.  So, I lit a candle, threw some bath salts in, paused for a moment to make sure I wasn’t becoming Liberace, and then started a Sia Genius mix on my ITunes.  After sinking in to the lavender scented water and polishing off half a glass of viognier, I started to think on Cancer and what the current energy around it meant for us all.  Cancer is home, family, personal roots, and our emotional foundation.  It’s a warm blanket, tea, and an oatmeal cookie.  Just then, Tori Amos’s A Sorta Fairytale began to waft over the speakers, and I started to sing.  But I only got a verse in before I found myself laughing.  Talk about a full-on Cancer moment.  Here I was, a Cancer moon myself, thinking about the sign while in the same moment basically bathing in the womb of its essence.  I had created a nest of comfort using so many of the things that calm me and bring me home, that I realized I didn’t have to go too far into the mind to feel what it is we all may need during this new moon time.

We must be willing to go deep into our emotional being and feel our way through the labyrinth of life.

Cancer wants us to nurture ourselves so that we can move through our current life situations with a renewed sense of emotional calm and security.  And this is never as easy as it reads on paper, especially when Mercury is in retrograde and going through the same sign.  Our minds are all a bit uncertain and afraid to commit to ideas and actions.  We think we know what we should do next, but we also aren’t sure we feel that it’s the right move to make.  It’s as if we need God to physically manifest in some form and point to the path we should take so we know exactly what to do.  And even then, we may still feel some questioning come in.  That’s the trick when Mercury is a little backwards and gets involved.  It covers up our heart with the sharp swords of mental thought.  Our heart may feel one way, but our internal words question it with doubt.  And if allowed, they can do so until we crumble ourselves in ruin.  We must be willing to go deep into our emotional being and feel our way through the labyrinth of life.  That is the only way to get out and into the truth of our happiness, where real serenity lives.  That is the only way to use this Cancer energy for good so that you can start anew, with confidence.

Choose to move forward and learn from everything you do, the successes and the mistakes

The sign of Cancer is also connected to the past, which at a new moon time can be challenging and rewarding.  This last week, I was talking a client through her chart, and I saw that she was having trouble letting go of choices she had made long ago.  “You cannot judge yourself for the mistakes of your past.”  It resonated.  “You have to forgive yourself”, I told her, “and move forward.”  With Mercury in Cancer, we’re gonna be thinking about the past a bit.  But it is in retrograde right now, so we can take a cue from the planet and turn it the other way.  We must use this energy to look towards the future, and we should use everything that comes up about the past as a reminder for the long-term goals we’ve laid out for ourselves.  We cannot get caught up in “This happened and then this happened” because “this” is happening, with every passing second.  So you can choose to move forward and learn from everything you do, the successes and the mistakes.  For at the end of the road, it is all forward movement.  And right now, there is a lot of activity around abundance and growth that is pushing us towards realizing our bigger dreams.  Manifestation is in the air, so we must take advantage of it.  That is Jupiter, also in Cancer, and they are all pushing that retrograde energy.  So shift it around and make it work for you, not against you.

Let’s take a closer look at each sign and see how this all could be affecting you more directly:

Continue reading “Wine, A Bath, and The New Moon in Cancer”

Permission Granted To Be Your Crazy Self

You have to give yourself permission

Last night, I had the pleasure of reading a lovely new client. Being an Aries rising, she had a lot of the current Gemini energy moving through her 3rd House, the house of communication. As we discussed how she could get more deeply in touch with her passions and goals, I found myself using the same phrase over and over. “You have to give yourself permission.” We can have ideas for what we want in life or how we want to spend our time, but then we allow judgment to overcome our every “silly” whim so that we ultimately suppress potential avenues for our truest expression. We don’t give ourselves the permission to explore. And some of us may not even know what it is we’re passionate about yet. Not everyone is born with the idea of what they want to be when they grow up. So if we don’t tell ourselves that it’s okay to pursue every idea, despite what society, family, or what-have-you has taught you to think, then we are barricading ourselves from what could be the path we should walk down in order to actualize our truest self.

With this weekend’s Gemini new moon, we must offer ourselves a new mental vision for our lives. It must be filled with inspiration but also compassion. And we have to make sure that our spirit is involved, or else we will just get steamrolled by our old ways of thinking, which have grown powerful over the years. If we can give ourselves those gifts of clarity and self-love, we will find that we can harness and communicate ideas for the next phase of our lives in a way that is both intuitive and responsible.

Let’s face it, the main reasons that we don’t express ourselves entirely, whether they are ideas for a new line of work, our feelings in a relationship, or how we feel about our bodies, are that we are afraid of complete honesty and don’t want to be held accountable for what we say. We don’t trust ourselves enough to say and do the right thing. This must stop. We must give the man or woman in the mirror the permission to be brave and step firmly into truth, or else we are just auto-piloting our lives. And what the hell good is that?

Become more aware of the words you use in your mind before you speak

As stated, Gemini is all about the mind. But it’s also how we translate the mind. So with this new moon, not only are we geared toward a new mental outlook on ourselves but also on how we communicate it. First, become more aware of the words you use in your mind before you speak. If you can become more conscious with yourself, then you can offer a greater cognizance in your relations with others. And again, as we are looking to approach life with more of a responsible, adult-like spirit, we have to choose our words with that level of maturity. That way, we can take ourselves more seriously and be seen by others in the same way.

Let’s look more closely at each sign and how you can best make use of this weekend’s Gemini new moon:

Continue reading “Permission Granted To Be Your Crazy Self”

One Man’s Pain is Another Man’s Retrograde

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Shit’s gonna go down when you least expect it

For the past few months now, I have been unhappy in my day job.  It had just ceased being challenging and creative in the way I needed it to be.  And I had been talking to friends about my “next steps” while mentally laboring over the things I needed to be doing in order to achieve the real professional success I was looking for in my life.  Yeah, lots of words.  Lots of me, talking.  Therefore, I wasn’t making much tangible progress.  In particular, these last few weeks saw me making light attempts to flesh out some of my creative projects, but the work always found itself overshadowed by my inner chatter – a white noise wall of questions.  Am I really meant to be a writer?  How should I go about bringing it into my life?  What is this astrology thing about for me?  Is it a legitimate path?  How can I find clarity when I have to report daily to a job that leaves me passionless?

Then, life offered me a nudge – I was abruptly laid off from my job.  In a way, it wasn’t sudden.  I had the feeling that I needed to move along.  I just thought that perhaps I would be a bit more in the driver’s seat.  However, when Saturn, the planet of structure, is hovering over Uranus, the ruler of sudden surprise, and it’s going on in your chart’s 6th House, the place that rules your daily work routine, shit’s gonna go down when you least expect it.  And how you least expect it.  But I haven’t responded in a way that most would in this situation.  In fact, I have surprised myself with how positive I am seeing the whole thing.

I am choosing to utilize this moment as a call to order

I know that this is a gift of retrograde.  The universe is urging me to review how I want to spend my days and reinterpret my daily routine to fit that ideal.  All I can see here is opportunity.  Sure, there is some fear and imminent limitation in the situation, which are all things Saturn, but I am choosing to utilize this moment as a call to order.  And, in a way, it’s a chance to reboot my life.  That is the exact gift of a retrograde for each and every one of us – a do-over.

We need to make sure that we’re asking the necessary questions

Everyone is going through some major questioning right now.  Not only are Mercury and Saturn in retrograde, but we also have five planets and the celestial cousin Chiron all moving through the sign of Pisces.  That means we are either getting deeply in touch with our inner selves or we are feeling so confused that we just can’t drink three glasses of wine fast enough.  And coupled with the retrograde energy, we’re second-guessing our ideas and goals.  Are we sure that we know what we’re doing?  The good thing is, we don’t need to have the answers right away.  We just need to make sure that we’re asking the necessary questions.  That way, we can then open ourselves up to receiving all of the important information that is going to help us understand where we need to go next in life.

Let’s take a closer look at how all of these planetary influences are affecting each sign:

Continue reading “One Man’s Pain is Another Man’s Retrograde”

Your Soul is Your Truth – Deal With It!

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A gift lies within pain and confusion

I haven’t written for the last month, but it’s not because I have chosen to desert you, dear reader.  Soon after my last post, a dear friend of mine passed away.  It was one of those moments in life that shattered my perceived perception of how the Universe works.  I couldn’t help but to question the goodness of all things, knowing that my young, successful, and ambitious friend had been wiped from the earth in a single day.  I spent so much time agonizing over how I could have been a better friend, or creating fear for myself around death.  Then, exactly one week later, my boyfriend experienced a death in his immediate family, which brought mortality even more into the limelight.  I spent hours wondering, “what the hell is going on here, Universe?”  I was tired, sad, and just plain over it.  So I caved and spent a good long month just crying.

With the dust from my intense January settled, I have truly been able to recognize that a gift lies within pain and confusion.  But we must be willing to go into the tears and feelings to access it.  Because that is the only way that we can move deeper, into the Piscean deep where our soul dwells.  And our soul is our truth.  Sometimes, we can grow too distant from that truth, and we need a crushing hand to come in and remind us to reconnect.  See, my soul was feeling abandoned in a way, and nothing ever comes from being in that place.  Thankfully, I have re-established the connection, and just in time for Pisces to make its way in.

In Pisces lives spirit and intuition.

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Pisces is the connecter to soul.  In Pisces lives spirit and intuition.  It is the sign that governs our link to the divine and makes our human experience a deeper, more soulful one.  The sun hasn’t moved into Pisces yet, but four others are already there – Mercury, Mars, Neptune, and the asteroid Chiron, which in astrology represents our soul’s greatest wound.  With the Sun coming to join soon, as well as Venus, we will all be driven more by our internal compass, so it will be important to gain or further vitalize that connection.  Otherwise, we could just find ourselves fighting the messages we are receiving, making life chaotic rather than flowing.  And that’s where we deserve to be.

Let’s look more closely at where Pisces may be affecting you, and how you should harness its energy to live a better life.

(In Memory of Sadath Garcia, a true friend and Aries soul.)

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Continue reading “Your Soul is Your Truth – Deal With It!”

It’s 2013! What the Hell Are You Doing With Your Life?

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The universe has given us a shared language in astrology

I recently went to see a planetarium show at the Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles.  It was a show I had seen before, about the birth of the cosmos and the history of astronomy.  In the past, I had found it to be visually lovely and rather entertaining.  But this time, I was more so affected by the narrative content of the piece.  In particular, I was struck by the fact that ancient civilizations like the Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians saw astrology to be the same as astronomy.  The zodiac was established and used to study the night sky but was also used as a tool for how to live one’s best life.  It was all essentially a uniform science that we, over time, have created a separation for.  Astronomy has become considered true science while astrology just a charming and, to some, silly ideology.  And, it’s a shame really.  Because something rooted in such human history, as well as in nature, shouldn’t be looked down upon because we have entered into a world ruled by technology.  Our relationship with the natural world should be our most important.  And if the universe has given us a shared language in astrology, then we should all take an interest in it so we can each better understand our own personal nature.

There is a powerful scent of “what is the bigger picture for my life” in the air for all of us right now

As I have spent the past few days deeply pondering all of this, I was intrigued to find that Pluto, the God of all things profound, and Mercury, the communicator, were meeting up for a conjunction in Capricorn, the sign of serious ambition and goal-attainment.  That means, in astrological terms, that it all makes more sense that I would be immersed in grand thoughts about the cosmos and the meaning of it all.  It would also make sense why I spent yesterday morning on a call with my Capricorn friend, who wanted to discuss the deeper meanings of his romantic life.  And also why a group of my friends and I got together last night to start organizing an action plan on how we were going to accomplish our big goals for the year.  This is some serious life realness we have going on right now!  There is a powerful scent of “what is the bigger picture for my life” in the air for all of us right now, so we all must take a big ass inhale and breathe it in.

Continue reading “It’s 2013! What the Hell Are You Doing With Your Life?”

What Mercury Taught Me (And Maybe You Too)

Stop looking at what’s going wrong long enough to see the gift’s that are being offered to you at this time

From July 14th to August 8th, Mercury sat in retrograde.  As I’ve mentioned before, I always look at Mercury Retrograde as a time to pause and reflect, renew, remember.  Yes, Mercury in retrograde also represents a time when communication breaks down.  Computers mess up, phone service sucks more than usual, and your TiVo forgets to record the season finale of Dance Moms.  But I don’t like to focus on the negative.  All of that shit is just going to happen anyway.  In fact, it’s going to happen any time of the year too.  Mercury being in retrograde only amplifies its effects.  So what kind of good can come out of a time that most associate with personal chaos and disaster?  A lot!  You just have to stop looking at what’s going wrong long enough to see the gift’s that are being offered to you at this time.  Gifts, you say?  “I ain’t seen no fucking gifts in the last few weeks, Angel.  You crazy.”  Well yes, I am.  But still, hear me out.

Continue reading “What Mercury Taught Me (And Maybe You Too)”