Finding Balance Under a Full Blood Moon

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This Libra Full Moon is the doorway to a potentially new version of our lives

For me, the last couple of months have felt a bit all over the place. I have been trying my best to focus and feel accomplished, but there has just been so much to do that it has been hard to give attention to everything I want to do. I’m sure you can totally relate. There’s business work. There’s creative work. There’s spiritual work. There’s relationship time. There’s friendship time. There’s family time. There’s dog time. Not to mention that there’s always the all-important me time that needs to get in. There are bills to pay, dishes to do, posts to write, clients to read, stories to listen to, and there’s fitness to work on too. I can’t forget the necessary trips I’ve had to take, the Instagram pictures I’ve needed to upload, and the concerts I’ve put my dancing shoes on to attend. I’m reeeeeeeal busy. But aren’t we all these days?

With so many of the areas in our lives vying for attention, it can be truly hard to feel balanced within. We can feel stretched and pulled into different directions. And for the most part, we focus on the things we aren’t able to get to. So we end up beating ourselves up for the things we didn’t check off the list rather than celebrating all of the things we did. And that propels us into this panicked state, where we get to sleep pondering all the things we have to do tomorrow, only to hit the ground running the next day in some zombie-like state. Then we go into each day like a chicken with its head cut off, just trying to get things done, just trying to get ahead, without really taking the time to get present. Perhaps it’s because if we allowed ourselves to get present, we would have to get very real with ourselves about the state of our lives.

When we’re pushing and running and trying and doing, we aren’t really just being. And if we aren’t giving ourselves the time to just be, then we’re really just creating an unbalanced life. We must allow ourselves the chance to release the urgency we place on “getting it all done”, or else we aren’t actually receiving the gifts that life wants to offer us. How can we if we’re too busy rushing by them?

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If we can slow down, we will see the bullshit for what it is

Mark Nepo wrote, “When feeling urgent,you must slow down.” He continued with “The doorway to our next step of growth is always behind the urgency of now. Now more than ever, when all feels urgent, you must cut the strings to all events.” I think what Mr. Nepo was saying is that we have to slow down enough to see beneath the busyness of our lives. And that all the places we think we need to be are never really urgent when it comes to the greater purpose of our lives. In fact, if we can slow down, we will see the bullshit for what it is. We will see that the busy work we think we need to do is just busy work keeping us from the truer things we want to accomplish with our lives. And we will see that in a great pause, a mirror appears, allowing you to see the more authentic you that is urging to break free. These are the important messages for this current Libra Full Moon moment.

Astrologically, things are just as busy. There are planets moving in ways to make challenging angles to each other. Some are getting along. Some are pushing each other. For us, that means we are being pushed and prodded toward our higher calling – more to come on all that in a future post. But this Libra Full Moon (also called the Blood Moon due to its lunar eclipse) is the doorway to a potentially new version of our lives. Perhaps you have been saying you want to make some changes in your life. Well, now is the time to make them. Or life may just find a way to make them for you. But in order to best see how to make the proper changes, you must not push back. You must stand still, strong like a tree. You must survey your life as if from a mountaintop on a clear day, with great perspective and clarity.

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There is no more waiting

You must become comfortable with the present moment in your life. Whether it’s a job you hate, a man you no longer love, or a body you can no longer destroy, you have to pause and look in that mirror to say, “Okay. I see you.” Otherwise you may just set yourself up for a greater challenge to come. You may be forced to deal with things when now you have the power to take them on. There is no more waiting. There is only the opportunity to restore balance to your life in a healthy way, by taking control and having the responsibility to do so. You know where things are off so take the steps toward bringing yourself back into alignment. You deserve a life that feels your own.

Let’s take a closer look at the signs for more clarity:

Continue reading “Finding Balance Under a Full Blood Moon”

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You Are Your Greatest Love of All

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What does it take to fully learn to love ourselves?

I can’t even imagine how many times my family had to listen to Greatest Love of All blasting from my room during the mid 80’s. It was usually accompanied by my own belted out vocals, though sometimes I would just give it a hearty lip-sync. Either way, it was quite an anthem for the 8 year old chubby, insecure, gay-in-training me. As we all know, Whitney had a way of singing a song as if it were truth in a religious sense. So there was something about her and that song and its slightly confusing but ultimately empowering lyrics that would take me away from my uncertainties and guilty feelings of being too different than everyone else. It would take me away from feeling alone. And as I’ve grown, I have realized that I actually wasn’t alone then. There were others of us out there, in our bedrooms behind closed doors, visioning ourselves onto a stage in front of millions, singing of our decision to never walk in anyone’s shadow. But when the door opened, it was back to hiding the truth and diminishing one’s sense of self-love. So what does it actually take to completely live that way? What does it take to fully learn to love ourselves?

This Valentine’s Day happens to also land on the Full Moon in Leo, which is quite a bang up combo. V Day is obviously all about expressing the love you have for those you care about most in life. However, the Leo Full Moon is actually more connected with loving all the things that are specifically “You” and releasing them onto the world. So yes, today is a time to do for others and show your love. But more importantly, you must use this full moon energy to show yourself the love that you deserve. Especially since we have Mercury in retrograde right now, which is an opportunity for us all to be reconsidering our personal uniqueness. So consider if you have allowed yourself to stifle your distinct truth, whether in your home or job or in your relationships.

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You can be you, without fear.

Are you living a life behind closed doors, or more so locked inside of your mind, when you should be on the stage of your life for the world to see? Know that now is an easy time to let the power of others cloud your own needs. So use this time to get clear about what matters most to you and let the important people know exactly who you are, even if it will surprise them. Connect to your most creative self and remember that you are co-authoring this life with the Universe. You can make decisions. You can be you, without fear. You can blast Greatest Love of All at the highest volume and sing with the windows down. If that’s your truth, then you better own it. Or else, you will just end up living some quiet, status quo life. And you wouldn’t be called to read this if that was the kind of life that was meant for you.

So find your strength in love and let’s go.

Here are some more specific ways to address this Leo Full Moon:

Continue reading “You Are Your Greatest Love of All”

Kill Your Inner “Blah Blah Blah”

This Gemini full moon wants you to trust that you already know the truth for your life

So I end up having a glass of wine and some avocado fries with my man and his lovely Gemini friend of many years. We toast to the Gemini full moon, and she asks, “What does it mean?” Now I have been mulling it over for the last few days and, until that point, I hadn’t been able to distill it down. But in that moment, I just uttered, “It’s time to let go of the chatter.” She paused, then nodded and sipped her wine. “There’s a lot of chatter.” And in analyzing the chart for this current full moon some more, as well as just being a person in the world right now, I must agree with that blurted out statement.

It’s time to let go of the chatter, everyone. Sure, shift is in the air. We are all in the midst of some major transformation, whether we’re having babies, changing jobs, moving homes, or adjusting our self-perceptions to align with who we want to be. And that kind of bold evolution will cause our minds to work overtime with ideas, worry, and questions. Thoughts get cluttered, and we easily confuse that deeply honest voice of truth with the lesser ego-centered voices that stem from fear, pain, and hurt. And it sucks, because they both kind of sound alike and it can get to the point where one can’t tell the difference. But let’s face it. If you just settle down long enough and ask yourself any question, the correct answer is usually the first thing that comes up.

Kill your inner blah blah blah and let the soul’s voice emerge

This Gemini full moon wants you to trust that you already know the truth for your life. So all of this questioning, second-guessing, and moments of confusion are really just procrastination masquerading as your thoughts. So kill your inner blah blah blah and let the soul’s voice emerge. Believe that it has your best interest in mind, and that it won’t allow you to step into something that will destroy your heart, endanger your body, or ridicule your existence. Know that your personal growth is already in motion. You just have to be still long enough to get caught up in the current. Because if you’re flailing about, and that’s probably what you’re mind is doing most of the time, then you’ll never be light enough to be swept away to your destiny.

Let’s look at each of the signs and get a better sense of how this could be personally affecting you:

Continue reading “Kill Your Inner “Blah Blah Blah””

I’m Fucking Awesome, And So Are You

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This weekend’s full moon in Taurus urges you to connect your sense of self-worth to the life you allow yourself to live

For the first time in almost ten years, I don’t have a full-time job. I have work, which helps to define me. I have astrology. I am a writer. I am helping to produce a film. But at this moment in time, none of these things are currently adding much to my bank account on a consistent basis. Now it has been somewhat liberating. I have been allowed the opportunity to guide myself toward the things I want to focus on. But it has also been as scary as plummeting through a crack in the earth.

When I was leaving my last job back in May, a good Taurus friend who had just been through the process told me that it was going to bring up some things. Fear. Anxiety. And he said to just let them come on. They’re real emotions, and they shouldn’t be ignored. Thankfully, I did have the film project to look forward to, and that came along a few months later in more of a full-time way. But over the last couple of months, my participation in it leveled off some, and I found myself back in the space of “What the fuck”.

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We all have a responsibility to regard ourselves with dignity and delight

Though there has been more time to dive into my creativity and my astrology work, I have been a little beaten up by the ego in the mirror. He has been talking a lot about money and rent and the future. And in a moment of weakness, there was inner talk of needing to find “a real job”. But if I were to cave and go back into the wheel I just recently vacated, I wouldn’t be honoring my spiritual truth. Because I wouldn’t be honoring the gifts I’ve been given and that I should be using for my livelihood. It’s this push toward a greater faith in ourselves that the current astrological climate wants us to recognize and step into

This weekend’s full moon in Taurus urges you to connect your sense of self-worth to the life you allow yourself to live. If you are feeling stuck, then it may be because you don’t truly believe in your abilities. Recognize that your deepest feelings of self-confidence directly reflect your circumstances. That can be hard for some to ingest. “Why would I believe myself into unhappiness?” Well, because underneath it all, you haven’t truly told yourself that you deserve to be happy. And that kind of shit can wedge into your psyche deep, causing you to act out in seemingly childish, unconscious ways. Please know that you will continue to do so until you face the truth of your pain connected to feelings of failure and being less-than what you dreamed you would be. Once you go into all that, then you will truly begin to feel liberated from your ego’s hold.

We all have a responsibility to regard ourselves with dignity and delight. So there is no reason for any of us to waste our lives devoting time toward experiences that lack our passion. Sure, life will hand us ridiculously challenging experiences that are beyond our psyche’s control. But it’s how we then respond to them that defines us. And if we can respond with some sense of self-worth, then we are aiming higher.

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Attach your worth to what’s really in your heart

Now is the time to show ourselves that we deserve to do what we love. If we can offer ourselves that gift, then the Universe will recognize and offer a gift in return. It may not be a million dollars, but it could be! At the very least, it will be some sort of tangible reminder that when you attach your worth to what’s really in your heart, then your actual value in life will go up. That is because you finally deem yourself good enough to receive it.

Let’s take a closer look at the signs to see what area in your life this may be affecting. And remember to check out your rising sign too, if you know it.

Continue reading “I’m Fucking Awesome, And So Are You”

Your Rebirth is Now

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Just see the new you emerging and dive into the wave of it

My plan this morning was to wake up early and channel the Scorpio new moon’s energy to write one of my usual posts on it. However, Uranus, the ruler of surprise, was directly involved in my personal new moon and where it fell in my chart, so it brought on an unexpected turn of events. I awoke to some messages that a relative had gone into the hospital and was not doing very well. After speaking to my parents, it was revealed that he would probably not make it for much longer. Though not incredibly close to him, I knew it was important for me to go and be with my family. Thus my afternoon of writing turned into a day in the hospital, feeling grief and sadness. In a way, it was actually an experience suited to the Scorpio new moon as it was literally about the sign’s greatest marker. Death. But it also allowed me to spend some very intimate time with the people I love most dearly in life, and to see the other important element of Scorpio. Rebirth.

My family and I are not the same people we were a decade or two ago. Once divided by pain, anger, and addiction, we have since transformed into a clan that now puts love first. Sure, we still have some collective healing to do, but we have truly evolved in a remarkably positive way. However, our family’s rebirth hasn’t kept me from still reacting to them from those old feelings of pain or anger. At times, it would be like the twelve year old me was in the room again, feeling all of the same emotions that tore him up inside so many years ago. And then I would be frustrated at myself for still holding onto the past in such an emotional way. It was a vicious cycle.

Today though, I saw that I was able to engage them without feeling any of the old childhood crap at my feet. The young me wasn’t even in the room. Instead, today I was just present as the man I am now. I guess you could say that seeing another man at death’s door will force you into the moment. I have also been experiencing a pretty powerful inner shift leading up to today. The old elements of me that no longer belong have been seriously put on trial as of late. And I think today’s experience helped them to get their final sentencing. I also know I’m not the only one feeling this inner urge to shift and evolve.

Continue reading “Your Rebirth is Now”

The Idea of You and a New Moon in Libra

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What’s the idea you have for yourself?

A few weeks ago, I got back from Minnesota where I was working as a producer on a feature film.  This is the first time that I have worked in this capacity on a movie, and the actual production process was rewarding, exhausting, and one of the most challenging experiences of my life.  And the hours were simply not cute.  Actually, neither was I after a couple days of it.  But my greatest struggle wasn’t sleep deprivation or maintaining my girlish figure amidst the tables of craft service.  Those were easy to manage in comparison to dealing with the internal question mark that arose over myself as the shoot wore on.

I went into this filming process thinking I had a pretty clear idea of myself.  I’m a 36-year-old man.  I got issues, but I know who I am.  However, through this journey, I was forced to question the ideas of me I had in place time and again.  For instance, I thought I was entirely compassionate when I’m actually a bit of a shady bitch.  My thought that I was cautious in my decision making actually read to others as uncertain and lacking in confidence.  And I saw that questioning my instincts was a constant epidemic of my mind, and it never lead to anything but disappointment.  Mostly, I realized that one shouldn’t just sit idly by, waiting on a ship to come in.  With that, all you do is grow old on some dock, watching as others go on about their lives.

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When heavy trouble would arise on set, my go-to would be to just sit and observe.  Someone smarter would come along and handle.  But that mentality does nothing for one’s personal growth.  And sometimes, I am that someone smarter.  So I had to push myself to get involved.  No one was going to ask my opinion.  I had to force others to hear my voice.  Thus, I forced myself to hear my own voice and acknowledge it.  And that was something, with the exception of this blog, I had subtly squashed and put into submission as of late.

If we can’t see ourselves fresh every day, then we’re not giving ourselves the opportunity to truly evolve.

All this has allowed for a new me to emerge.  I’m bolder.  I’m more confident.  And I’m less afraid to speak up about what I feel with the fear of rejection hanging over me.  But this shift isn’t just about my actions.  It’s about mentality.  It’s about changing the idea I have of me.  This is a perfect kind of realization for the astrological climate around this new moon in Libra.

What’s the idea you have for yourself?  For one, there’s a sense of how we think we come across to others, which is usually a sharp difference from the actual truth.  We can also identify ourselves too much around a job, a relationship, or even our gender or sexual identity.  And sometimes, we labor to craft the perfect idea of what we think our lives should be.  We know the career we want or would excel at if we weren’t stuck in the one we were currently in, and we think it’s just a matter of time before the boss notices or the Universe opens the door to the right opportunity.  But really, that’s all bullshit.  If we can’t see ourselves fresh every day, then we’re not giving ourselves the opportunity to truly evolve.  We then can’t relate to others from an honest place.  And we rob ourselves of growth and attaining a true balance within which is really all Libra wants us to do.

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The process of finding your balance can be wobbly at times, so it requires movement.

Libra craves and creates balance, especially in relationships with others.  But as people, we can only project a peaceful equilibrium and attract those who have one if we truly feel it inside.  Right now, the planets want us to meet a new idea for ourselves.  We need to be honest about what we’re looking for in our lives and stop letting our circumstances dictate what we feel, think, and do.  Each of us is a unique being with a set of lessons to take on.  So take a look at your life.  Are you connecting and activating your specific life plan, or are you just responding to the world and events around you?  If you’re not being active in the process, then you’re not achieving balance.  The process of finding your balance can be wobbly at times, so it requires movement.  Like in yoga, we must fall down when trying to hold a pose to fully know the strength and power of its opposition: complete stillness.

Let’s look more specifically at the signs and how this can be playing out for you:

Continue reading “The Idea of You and a New Moon in Libra”

This New Moon Is So All About You

If you don’t feel worthy of applause, then you ultimately keep it from your life

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of doing an afternoon of readings for a lovely group of people.  One of them was a double Leo, which means there was a strong need for recognition and approval within her.  Of course, there was also a ton of creativity present, but the fact that she hadn’t gotten enough of it out into the world meant that her soul was starving for its time in the spotlight.  All Leo’s need it.  To some, that drive to be front and center can seem too self-serving.  But for Leo, that’s just part of the astrological DNA.  So unless one’s being an asshole about it, there’s no reason to shy away from that desire for attention.  I stressed to her that there was nothing wrong about wanting to be recognized for her gifts and talents.  In fact, for her, it was a must.  The only reason she wasn’t allowing it was because of some subconscious notion that it was wrong to desire a spotlight.  And that’s all wed to self-worth.  Because the truth is, if you don’t feel worthy of applause, then you ultimately keep it from your life.

At the end of my long day, the hostess squeezed my shoulder and said, “You’re really good at this.”  I smiled and deflected it with a comment about how great her and her friends were for being so receptive to the readings.  She proceeded to say it a couple of more times.  “You are really really good at this, Angel.”  After about the third time, something clicked.  It was as if a voice inside said, “Hear her.”  And I did.  I finally heard what she was trying to tell me.  (See, I also have Leo issues.)  In that moment, I connected to my soul’s core and with my whole heart, welcomed her emotional gratitude and recognition of my talent.  I deemed myself worthy of her applause.  Full of warmth, I smiled and said “Thank you.”  I then packed up my things and left her home, feeling so wonderful for the opportunity to share my gifts with others.

Now is the time to shift focus and give yourself the attention you deserve

The Leo New Moon is here, and it wants us to connect with our deeper need to be accepted and loved for who we are and what we have to offer the world around us.  To best understand what our greatest gift is, we must look to the thing that brings us our purest joy.  Now I’m not talking about that bottle of wine you may suck back after a long day of work.  I am talking about that activity or time when pristine, soulful joy rises up and overcomes you.  It’s the specific thing that stimulates that place in your heart where creativity and romance lives.  And it’s where you need to open yourself up to receiving appreciation and respect.

This also means making yourself vulnerable to your personal truth.  Because if you are feeling disrespected or unacknowledged somewhere in your life, that may be Leo showing you that you’re barking up the wrong tree.  Your greatest gift is perhaps just lying dormant or is at least being underutilized.  If that’s the case, then now is the time to shift focus and give yourself the attention you deserve.

Let’s take a closer look at each sign and see how this could be affecting you:

Continue reading “This New Moon Is So All About You”